Ug...

[tarotgal]

It's another of those days...
Happy, sad, happy, sad... wish days would just pick one or the other, you know?
I'm supposed to go in for blood work tomorrow morning(just to check my glucose levels) so I can't eat or drink for 12 hours before that (actually, I'm allowed water, but I hate water) so I was worried about my sleep sched and being hungry and stuff. And I managed to go to bed at 7am this morning and get up early today so I wouldn't have as much problems with sleeping tomorrow through the hours when I'm not supposed to be eating. Yay!

So I'm watching one of my favorite Highlander episodes (with the horsemen *sigh*) and so happy and all... and then I get a lovely phone call from the gynecologist's secretary (I went for my anual visit yesterday). Apparently, my doctor got lab results back and needs to talk to me tomorrow. Oh my gods. I know I'm a hypochondriac but now I'm fucking scared to death. I bet it's cancer. Or endometriosis. Or I'm, like, scarred and can never have sex again. It can't possibly be a sexually transmitted disease... oh my gods. It's something bad. You KNOW it's bad when they can't tell you over the phone. I'm freaking out now. Completely. I'm going to die, I just know it. And I have no health insurance. DAMNIT! And if I have a pre-existing condition like cancer they'll probably charge me a ton for health insurance. Assuming I live long enough for treatment.

Well... it was a good day *sigh* Haven't decided what to tell boyfriend about this... he's been SO depressed lately. And I had another dream about him killing himself last night (thanks to his mentioning it 3 times last night) Damnit. I bet it's cancer.
Anyway, just wanted to say something in case I suddenly drop off the face of the earth for a while. Or um, die suddenly or something.

Comments

[ladykorana.livejournal.com]

Ok tg...just take a deep breath...try and relax. I'm sure you're gonna be ok. *HUGS*

Don't get too worried about them not being able to tell you over the phone. As someone who works in the medical field, I can tell you that new, really restrictive patient confidentiality laws have recently been implemented that would make it illegal to tell you over the phone without being 100% sure of your identity. It's called HIPAA (Health Information Portablility and Accountability Act), and it's main purpose is to protect patient confidentiality. Basically, only those who absolutely need to know can have access to your medical information. The nurse herself may not have been allowed to know your results if it wasn't directly needed for her to know in order to do her job.

I really hope everything works out for you. I'll be thinking of you today.

[ladykorana.livejournal.com]

Oops, my bad...I'll be thinking of you this weekend, but especially tomorrow, when your appointment is. Sorry for the slip-up...

Oh, sweetie ::hug::

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, hun! ::SUPER BIG, VERY LARGE HUG:: I'm sure everything will be fine. It probably is something as simple as bacterial vaginosis - so many women have that and just don't realize it until their gyno tells them. It happened to me - scared the shit out of me, too. Same kind of call - and they can't tell you over the phone for confidentiality reasons, unfortunately, so they instead knock 10 years off your life.

Just...try not to dwell on it, hun. I mean, whatever is the matter was the matter before you got that phonecall - worrying yourself to death, sweetie, won't make it go away. I tell myself this whenever I get on a plane or other life threatening large piece of tin - nothing I can do right now can change what will happen. I might as well just relax. Not even remotely the same as this, but, hun - I'm sure everything will turn out alright. ::hug::

Oh, that's it, I'm writing you a fanfic feel better present. What do you feel like? Obi? Legi (hehe...Legi...I amuse myself)? Siri/Remy? Jamie? Yes I intend on adding "ee" to all characters lacking that sound...Aragorni? You name it, you got it. I've got ideas for all - just never wrote sneeze fanfic before. Oh, well, better to jump into the cold water than tiptoe. Seriously - name it, you've got it. ::hug::

Love and hugs

-Circe

[tarotgal]

Thanks much :-) (For both posts)
I like your icon, by the way! As opposed to all the elves in the movie who weren't hot, right? :-)

Yeah, I know they couldn't tell me over the phone... which is okay... still it would have been nice to know if it was something relating to lab results or something else entirely that I wouldn't have to worry about as much... Still, it's through my university, too, and they have HUGE privacy policies when it comes to medical records. We have to fill out forms every year saying who they can release info to if we're in a life-threatening health situation, etc. So I'm not surprised. Still... rather scary.

And thanks for thinking of me... I think I'm over the initial shock... nothing I'm thinking of can possibly be as bad as it is. And I just gave blood a little while ago so I know it's nothing like AIDS. My family's just had some VERY bad history of problems... so I tend to overreact when stuff like this happens. Thanks so much for your kind words though :-) Very comforting *hugs*

[tarotgal]

Thanks, especially for the advice. I don't think I will be telling boyfriend until tomorrow. Though I SUCK at lying and he asked what was wrong at dinner and I told him I didn't want to talk about it now, which is true, I suppose. :-)
Thanks much though *hugs* Your words were much needed

Re: Oh, sweetie ::hug::

[tarotgal]

You know, I really hope it is bacterial vaginosis because that's what I told my gyno once that I thought I had and she keeps telling me it's a yeast infection (which I'm sure it's not because I have, like, NONE of the symptoms for one) This is too much information, isn't it? LOL VERY sorry.
But yes, I'm really hoping it's something minor like that... it's only been 2 days so they can't possibly have all of the lab results back... I'm just a worrier by nature, especially with all the health problems in my family.

But thank you SO much for the kind words, and the many hugs. Much needed! I'm feeling better, but still a little jumpy and worried. I'm not continuously worried, but I doubt I'll get any/much work done tonight between this and no food/drink for 12 hours.

As for a fic, my gods that would be nice :-)
Certainly feel under no obligation to do so(can't force the muses, believe me!) but I'd be happy with a story about any of them right about now. So whoever appeals to you the most, I suppose *G* Any of the 'ee's :-) That would be so nice-What a sweetie you are!
But honestly, no pressure :-)

Re: Oh, sweetie ::hug::

[(Anonymous)]

Alright then, I'll spin the magic wheel...aaaannnndddd...it landed on...sirius/remus! That muse is definitely biting tonight. Gah! I'm excited - gotta get back to work...:D

Re: Oh, sweetie ::hug::

[tarotgal]

heehee
Well, if the muses cooperate... they're not to be denied!
And there's nothing I love better than the pups :-) Not to mention sneezey pups...*G*