Choral Chaos

Jun. 11th, 2025 08:03 pm
melydia: (fancy)
[personal profile] melydia
Whew, so much happening on the music front. Friday the chorus had an honor flight at the Post. Saturday the quartet had one at the VFW. It was weirdly late - we were to show up at 7:45pm - so we got together a little early to practice. But on our way there we discovered texts from Mack, leading Beth to suspect she may have misread the time on the email - that is, 8:00 instead of 1800. Ah well. We arrived while Mack was giving his local history lesson, which taught us never to be late again, because omg that man can talk. In the meantime, we learned that these were the exact same people from the night before - which was good to know, since we'd planned on singing the exact same songs! So since it was so late, we only sang two: Billy-a-Dick and Armed Forces Medley. They were very appreciative, as usual. One lady even complimented me on my lovely alto voice, which was nice.

The day before someone had been doing a crossword puzzle and was looking for a 4-letter word for a woman's voice in a choir. Jason immediately said, "Bass!" I smiled and said it was probably alto, and later he was understandably a little confused: "You're a woman and you sing bass in a choir." So I explained how barbershop voicing works, and said in a regular choir I'd probably sing alto or tenor - but I would sound absolutely terrible attempting to sing tenor in women's barbershop!

Sunday the quartet had our gig in DC - the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) was celebrating 50 years at the Omni Shoreham. There are two kinds of gigs, I've found: ones where we come back glowing, all, "That's why we do this!" And then there are ones where we come back saying, "Well, we got paid." This, alas, was one of the latter. We were a quartet in an enormous ballroom full of people who really just wanted to talk to each other. I can count on one hand the number of people who actually acknowledged our presence. They didn't even turn off the music playing over the loudspeakers! Oh well. Coulda been worse.

Three gigs in three days is a lot, but my tyrant of a husband forced me to stay up way too late watching just one more episode of Ted Lasso. Monday was rough. When I got home from work I passed out on the bed with Zenith and Umbra for a couple hours, had a show script meeting, and then went to bed. The meeting went really well - Jason made a cameo to bring me dinner (homemade chicken gravy over rice - I am so spoiled) and had some really good ideas to contribute. He's going to play one of the contestants in our musical game show.

Last night the chorus had another honor flight, followed by rehearsal, both at the Post. There were some active duty guys there, which is unusual, and apparently one of them approached Claire afterwards to say he's stationed somewhere in this area, and is going to work with his commander to get an official military certificate of appreciation for the chorus. We've been doing honor flights for years, but this was a first. So that was pretty awesome. Someone else handed Claire a $20 tip - another first! And lastly, another really cool story from the evening: Sharon got to talking with one of the vets, who turned out not only to be from her hometown, but her dad and his dad lived across the street from each other as children and were best friends. Small world!

Then this afternoon the M-team got a bit of a shocking email from Claire: VF received another wildcard for internationals! If we go, it'll be next year, in Columbus, Ohio. Yay for driving distance! We hadn't expected to qualify, but it'd be a good opportunity to have a little comeback after last year's disappointment. I just hope we get new songs. I've gone to four contests in a row with those same two songs. I can't do it anymore.

In non-music news, today was the last day of school, so we went out for hibachi with the boys. Now all three boys (yes, the middle-aged one too) are upstairs happily gaming while I have some kate time in my study. I love my family so much, but I am just not cut out for the noise levels of parenthood. But instead of getting angry or annoyed, I just go elsewhere. That's literally what my study is for. I think sometimes Jason worries that I'm unhappy, but of course that's not remotely the case. I just need a place where I can go close the door. And, well, technically my study doesn't have a door, but it's quiet down here. I like it.

Gigs and Games

Jun. 7th, 2025 01:27 pm
melydia: (minesweeper)
[personal profile] melydia
Sophia recently taught me the ADHD Prime Directive: "Don't set it down; put it away." And I've been attempting to put that practice into my life more lately. It's difficult, since 1. I'm not the only person who lives here, and 2. a lot of stuff gets set down and left without a "put away" location ever being designated.

The singing birthday present for the 96-year-old turned out to be not only for a man (for some reason I'd thought it was a woman), but a fellow barbershopper! His daughter sings with the Richmond chorus and their director reached out to us to see if we had any local quartets who could stop by that day. So that was a whole lot of fun. He was so touched. As we were walking back to the car, all of us were saying, "That's why we do this!"

The next morning was our annual Memorial Day gig for City of Fairfax. We sang a patriotic medley while people were getting seated and the national anthem at the start of the ceremony. Then they had a speaker, followed by the reading of every single Fairfax veteran killed in action since World War I, ringing a bell after each one. All told there were some 350 names. The toughest to hear are always the ones from the most recent conflicts. After that we sang a "song for reflection." Last year we sang It Is Well but this year we went with Amazing Grace, which I think suits our voices better. The bass part is identical for all three verses, but I think the other parts might change a bit, and of course Martie was fantastic as lead. They audience applauded afterwards, which was unexpected on its own, but somebody even whistled! Pretty sure that was all Martie's doing. :) And we got our picture in the local paper, which was nice. (No, I don't know why they list us as The Unmuted. We can't seem to convince Mac, who runs it, that our name has no "the" in it.)

Sunday we had another DCC session, which was hilarious as usual. We have the next one on the calendar but it'll depend on Wyatt's summer schedule. In years past he's been gone for weeks at a time; their mom likes to take them to visit her dad, who lives in the Outer Banks. In a couple weeks we're resurrecting the other D&D campaign, and tomorrow Eick is DMing a game here. I guess now that it's summer he has a little bit more free time.

More gigs: Honor Flights last night, tonight, and Tuesday; Unmuted is singing for a women's conference in DC tomorrow; and Beth's in the process of scheduling the chorus to sing at a number of farmers' markets over the next several months. Plus we're resurrecting a bunch of old songs for the annual show, meaning that rehearsal has been a whole lot more interesting lately than it has for the last year and change.

I've mailed all the wedding invitations and RSVPs are trickling in. Jason designed them; in the center is a picture of Princess Donut riding Mongo, with the heading, "What?! Already married?!" I know this invitation was how at least a few people learned we'd already gotten hitched. And the fact that only maybe half a dozen guests will get the DCC reference is just icing on the cake.

Jason and I have been watching Ted Lasso. It's funny and very sweet, which is a nice change. Ted Lasso himself is fun - endlessly positive and optimistic and supportive of literally everyone. I have to keep reminding myself that he is as genuine as he is portrayed; the people I've known in real life who act like that have been manipulators, trying to win over people so that when they do terrible things, they're more likely to get away with it. Sometimes when we're watching I catch myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Ted to be unveiled for who he truly is, but I don't think it's that kind of show.

Anyway, the boys are home this weekend and the loud gaming has begun. I can't complain too much - they are having a good time and playing together, rather than the regular "Elliott raging at strangers" 80-decibel concert we are usually treated to - but hoo jiminy is there a lot of yelling. That's one of the reasons I haven't been posting as often - I don't want to do it at work, even during lunch; I can't concentrate at the computer on the bridge when Elliott is in there (which is always); and I don't always want to be isolated downstairs in my study. (Though sometimes that's exactly what I want.)

I have about four hours before I need to get ready for the Honor Flight. Not sure how I'll spend my afternoon yet. We had a new sump pump installed this morning (it was working fine but was super old, and replacing it now was way cheaper than replacing it after it breaks and floods the basement). Maybe I'll see about finding some "away" locations to put things. We moved in July but still haven't emptied all the boxes. It's starting to get a little embarrassing.

On DEI

Jun. 7th, 2025 01:03 pm
melydia: (cutting ties)
[personal profile] melydia
Work continues to be busy and a tad stressful. People are leaving, offices are being disbanded or reorganized, and there's this constant existential threat of being walked out suddenly for being deemed insufficiently patriotic. Or, I guess, too diverse, equitable, or inclusive. The head of my agency is particularly venomous towards DEI, which is interesting since, as a woman, she is the indirect beneficiary of such programs.

A quick word on DEI: nobody particularly likes it. No one wants to hire people based on anything other than merit, and nobody likes knowing they didn't earn their position. But the problem is that human beings are not naturally merit-based thinkers. We are tribal thinkers. We want to hire our friends, or friends of friends, or members of some shared group - people whom we already feel we can trust. I don't think the racism is even conscious for most. As a white woman, most of my friends are white. It's not on purpose. But if I were to want to hire a friend, the pool of people of color is just a whole lot smaller.

But racism - intentional or not, conscious or not - is still alive and well. A friend of mine, an RN whose last name is Noriega, applied to a bunch of hospitals in the DC area. Zero interviews. Then he took his wife's last name, Murray, and sent the exact same applications to all the same hospitals. The only change was his name, and almost all of them called for interviews. Now, do I think the hiring managers saw his resume and thought, "Oh dear, we don't want to hire any Panamanian dictators"? No, no I do not. They probably rationalized it with concerns about language barriers - or maybe they didn't rationalize it at all, just decided he wasn't a good fit without giving it any more thought. My point is that we are not a colorblind society. And sometimes we need to be nudged outside of our comfort zone. Problems are often best solved by looking from multiple points of view, lessons learned from a variety of experiences.

On top of all that, we are people of anecdote. I know a guy who was once told he was passed over for promotion despite being the more qualified candidate because they "had to" hire a woman, so now he's at least a little bit skeptical of every woman who outranks him. The worst part is that I don't even know if that's true, or if he was just told that to make him feel better about being passed over. Ultimately it doesn't matter - it's colored his outlook forever.

I am personally in favor of inclusion, and diversity, and equity. Note that I didn't include quotas or rewarding incompetence in that list. Thing is, I've noticed that the people who shout the loudest about meritocracy are most likely to promote their white male buddies, regardless of fitness for the position. Working towards increasing the variety of backgrounds among members of a group is laudable, even if it's sometimes clumsily implemented. We need to keep trying.

Like in chorus: the more voices you have, the richer the sound.

About

Contents of this journal include: sneeze fetish references and lots of hurt/comfort, short fics and/or WIPS, everything from gen and het to slash and femslash, everything from G to NC-17, random ramblings about my life and fandom obsessions.

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