Learn to be Lonely
Apr. 17th, 2005 05:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarotgalI think that 'Learn to be Lonely' song from PotO is my new theme song. Which is kind of sucky, from an objective standpoint. but I'm fine with it. In fact, I haven't felt this good about myself in a LONG time.
Spent my morning sleeping and my afternoon writing and watching QAF season 4 (I just finished episode 9- my absolute favorite episode ever *G*) and then I got a call out of nowhere from my neighbors. I fed & walked their dog yesterday and they wanted me to do the same today. But they also invited me over to my boss' house for a BBQ. Which was a nice thought. They always say I'm "part of the family now" which is really sweet. They invited my whole family but apparently my family has better things to do than to go with me to anything. So I walked neighbor's dog and then rushed home and fed & walked my parents' because they were out all day buying stuff and my sister is far too wrapped up in her own life to think about the poor dog they bought for HER in the first place. Typical. Then I got changed and went over and had a FABULOUS time! Got to meet a good friend of my neighbors (who knows my parents as well) and got to meet my neighbors' son & daughter in law- they're expecting a baby (who they're referring to as Iggy) in November. My boss had me write some cryptic "have sex, make baby" e-mails and letters to them and had me send them very random items like a statue of Zeus and a pair of bright gold boxers to get them in the mood. Yeah, did I ever MENTION I have the weirdest job in the world? Anyway, it was very nice to finally meet them and apologize- in person- for sending them baby-making vibes... even though it worked. LOL I had a REALLY nice dinner and time and that's saying a lot because at stuff like this I always feel uncomfortable and in need of excuses to leave early. And even though I couldn't actually eat more than cheese and crackers and chips and cake (which, incidentally, all start with the letter C) and was naturally quiet at times, I really had a lot of fun. ANd being with four generations of a family (if you count Iggy) all in one room was... well, it felt really special. It was like suddenly being on the inside of something rare and beautiful. I thought it might make me feel sad considering my "recent" loss but it really didn't. Just felt nice to know other families are as fun and strange as mine... though maybe that's just the writer in me.
And, luckily, putting my favorite songs CD on in the car as I drove to work and back cheered me up instantly and made me realize a lot of stuff. Which is good. Lots of good. Mucho good. And it made me forget things like the fact that my sister left the house while I was out with the dog and she A-did not lock the front door and B- left the front door WIDE FUCKING OPEN. So I had to do a ten minute sweep of the whole house when I got back with a baseball bat, scared that anyone could be in there with an axe about to murder me. Have I ever mentioned my irrational yet admittedly delightfully silly fear of mad axemen hiding behind shower curtains? LOL So, yeah, had to check the house. Stupid self-involved sister. But that's okay, because happy songs cheered me up and, thankfully, no mad axemen to be found in the showers or otherwise.
Then I came home and wrote a little more and watched a little more QAF. And then after everyone went to sleep I worked out again. Did the whole Tae Bo workout PERFECTLY without crapping out even for a second. ANd then afterwards I did a quarter of a lap on the elliptical. I feel so pumped and happy with myself today. I can attribute most of it to my newfound "Fuck 'em all" attitude but I really am feeling better- I think working out so often (in secret) helps. Even if I'm not losing as much as I should, it does make me feel a lot better about myself.
I've also kind of sort of been thinking of volunteering for the county fair. It's been a long while since I did random volunteering and that might be fun. And as of my long cold shower a few minutes ago, I'm thinking about going out for the AIDS walk in DC this fall, if I'm still around then and if I'm still feeling fit enough and all. It's been a couple years since I've done a walk of any sort and the AIDS walk was always my favorite (and a couple miles shorter than the MS Walk, if I remember correctly). I'd definitely prefer to volunteer instead of walk... but I figure it might be a nice challenge for myself. LOL Some people build themselves up to do these huge marathons (like Hermione's Mom) or bike-a-thons and such and I'm waaaaaay down on the pole in thinking walking for five hours is a huge deal. LOL Ah well. We'll see when fall rolls around. But I thought I'd just ramble and mention it since I'm in a rambling mood. Either way, I'm totally writing an AIDS Walk Strokes fic *G*
I'm just feeling good. It's *nice* to feel good. So rarely happens to me lately. LOL
Spent my morning sleeping and my afternoon writing and watching QAF season 4 (I just finished episode 9- my absolute favorite episode ever *G*) and then I got a call out of nowhere from my neighbors. I fed & walked their dog yesterday and they wanted me to do the same today. But they also invited me over to my boss' house for a BBQ. Which was a nice thought. They always say I'm "part of the family now" which is really sweet. They invited my whole family but apparently my family has better things to do than to go with me to anything. So I walked neighbor's dog and then rushed home and fed & walked my parents' because they were out all day buying stuff and my sister is far too wrapped up in her own life to think about the poor dog they bought for HER in the first place. Typical. Then I got changed and went over and had a FABULOUS time! Got to meet a good friend of my neighbors (who knows my parents as well) and got to meet my neighbors' son & daughter in law- they're expecting a baby (who they're referring to as Iggy) in November. My boss had me write some cryptic "have sex, make baby" e-mails and letters to them and had me send them very random items like a statue of Zeus and a pair of bright gold boxers to get them in the mood. Yeah, did I ever MENTION I have the weirdest job in the world? Anyway, it was very nice to finally meet them and apologize- in person- for sending them baby-making vibes... even though it worked. LOL I had a REALLY nice dinner and time and that's saying a lot because at stuff like this I always feel uncomfortable and in need of excuses to leave early. And even though I couldn't actually eat more than cheese and crackers and chips and cake (which, incidentally, all start with the letter C) and was naturally quiet at times, I really had a lot of fun. ANd being with four generations of a family (if you count Iggy) all in one room was... well, it felt really special. It was like suddenly being on the inside of something rare and beautiful. I thought it might make me feel sad considering my "recent" loss but it really didn't. Just felt nice to know other families are as fun and strange as mine... though maybe that's just the writer in me.
And, luckily, putting my favorite songs CD on in the car as I drove to work and back cheered me up instantly and made me realize a lot of stuff. Which is good. Lots of good. Mucho good. And it made me forget things like the fact that my sister left the house while I was out with the dog and she A-did not lock the front door and B- left the front door WIDE FUCKING OPEN. So I had to do a ten minute sweep of the whole house when I got back with a baseball bat, scared that anyone could be in there with an axe about to murder me. Have I ever mentioned my irrational yet admittedly delightfully silly fear of mad axemen hiding behind shower curtains? LOL So, yeah, had to check the house. Stupid self-involved sister. But that's okay, because happy songs cheered me up and, thankfully, no mad axemen to be found in the showers or otherwise.
Then I came home and wrote a little more and watched a little more QAF. And then after everyone went to sleep I worked out again. Did the whole Tae Bo workout PERFECTLY without crapping out even for a second. ANd then afterwards I did a quarter of a lap on the elliptical. I feel so pumped and happy with myself today. I can attribute most of it to my newfound "Fuck 'em all" attitude but I really am feeling better- I think working out so often (in secret) helps. Even if I'm not losing as much as I should, it does make me feel a lot better about myself.
I've also kind of sort of been thinking of volunteering for the county fair. It's been a long while since I did random volunteering and that might be fun. And as of my long cold shower a few minutes ago, I'm thinking about going out for the AIDS walk in DC this fall, if I'm still around then and if I'm still feeling fit enough and all. It's been a couple years since I've done a walk of any sort and the AIDS walk was always my favorite (and a couple miles shorter than the MS Walk, if I remember correctly). I'd definitely prefer to volunteer instead of walk... but I figure it might be a nice challenge for myself. LOL Some people build themselves up to do these huge marathons (like Hermione's Mom) or bike-a-thons and such and I'm waaaaaay down on the pole in thinking walking for five hours is a huge deal. LOL Ah well. We'll see when fall rolls around. But I thought I'd just ramble and mention it since I'm in a rambling mood. Either way, I'm totally writing an AIDS Walk Strokes fic *G*
I'm just feeling good. It's *nice* to feel good. So rarely happens to me lately. LOL
