And... back to happy again

[tarotgal]

I managed to stop crying and freaking out (yay) It really could be any number of things... I'm just going to worry about dying later. And I've already got a place for my cat to live happily if I do die so that's really all that's important.

I got a lovely e-mail yesterday or so from someone who downloaded my QAF fanvid (who really liked it). She just sent a message out to a few lists and friends telling them to go download it from me and visit my site and see other vids. YAY! It's nice to be appreciated, isn't it? I know it's just silly fan stuff, but it's nice when you make things that get other people as excited as you are about concepts and characters and stuff. ANd it's nice when they think those things are good enough to share with other friends... I feel proud *G*

And scared.

But I managed to stop crying and hopefully will be able to get through dinner with boyfriend in a few minutes without a panic attack and telling him. I don't think I want to tell him until afterwards. Because if I do, it'll just make me freak out more to know he's just as worried.

Anyway... happy, sad, happy, sad, happy... that's the running total for today... we'll see where that goes. I still have 'Shallow Grave' to watch so even if something else happens today I'll have something to make me smile in the end.

Comments

[glitter-sprite.livejournal.com]

Calm down, dearling. That's all I can think of to tell you.

[tarotgal]

Thanks :-)
It's just been one of those days... too much happy and sad all at once, you know? I'll start feeling better when I know what it's all about for sure tomorrow. (I hope)

[glitter-sprite.livejournal.com]

Whatever it is, sweetie, you'll feel better knowing about it. The anticipation is horrible, I know. Whether the doctor tells you the worst of news or the best of news, you'll feel much better just knowing for sure.

[(Anonymous)]

You are doing the right and the wisest thing. You always plan for the worst, but hope for the best. And you have many people who are hoping (and probably also many who are praying) for you. We will all understand if you want your privacy through this, but also know that if talking helps, I am here to listen. In the meantime, feel what you feel, but don't allow yourself to completely despair. He wants to talk to you - that's all, he's not sending you straight to the hospital - and they would, if it the medical situation was dire. I know once, my gyn had to talk to me personally, and it was only b/c she hadn't gotten a good sample on my PAP test and had to ask me to come in and have it done over. So...hope for the best.

[(Anonymous)]

I hope that everything is fine, and that it is just something relatively minor. Not being able to find out for a while on things with drs. and such is really stressful- I hate it! And that glucose test is icky! I had to take it twice (first time results came out on the high side so they did a more extensive test) while I was pregnant. Good luck! *hugs and positive thoughts directed toward you*

tma