Terrible Day So Far
Nov. 18th, 2003 12:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarotgalAnd it's only noon. Have I mentioned how much I HATE Tuesdays?
Feel free to skip this post... it's just me trying not to have a mental breakdown. I'm so exhausted and scared right now it's not even funny.
I didn't go to sleep last night. Which means I'm hurting much right now. Meeting went fairly badly this morning, too. Growl. I need to just leave. I need to pick up and fucking leave and move to a commune(sp?) in Iowa or something. I'm just too stupid to do work, I think. And especially after a night of not sleeping.
Grrrr. I'm too exhausted to move properly... yet I can't fall asleep either. And I have another meeting tomorrow morning so I should probably sleep tonight. Gah... I'm so stressed. And tired. And freaked out. Told my advisor I had more written than I do... I don't know why that scares me. I know I'll get a lot written for him to look at. He wants me to forget user testing and just defend. I'm scared as shit to defend.
And then everyone keeps freaking asking me what I'm doing when I graduate. How the hell am I supposed to know? *sigh* I wish I could think of a decent answer. But I just don't know. Which, frankly, scares me. And is a reason I can't fall asleep when I try to lie down, either. NOT a good day. I'm really just freaking out. Can't really think straight, so I can't write to calm down. And I can't think of a good movie that might put me to sleep. Damnit. This is NOT my day. LOL
Boyfriend, who is considering killing himself still because of his little accomplishments, is actually in a better state than I am right now. He at least has an income for the next 6 months. I, on the other hand, am getting my last paycheck in a few weeks with no freaking clue what to do next *sigh* LOL It's really sad when your life is much worse than a depressed, suicidal guy's. And yet, he still freaking expects me to try to talk him out of it. LOL
I'm going to go scope out my movies and try to find one to calm me down... and think of something to eat that will keep my arms/hands from shaking so much. LOL Good luck... :-)
Feel free to skip this post... it's just me trying not to have a mental breakdown. I'm so exhausted and scared right now it's not even funny.
I didn't go to sleep last night. Which means I'm hurting much right now. Meeting went fairly badly this morning, too. Growl. I need to just leave. I need to pick up and fucking leave and move to a commune(sp?) in Iowa or something. I'm just too stupid to do work, I think. And especially after a night of not sleeping.
Grrrr. I'm too exhausted to move properly... yet I can't fall asleep either. And I have another meeting tomorrow morning so I should probably sleep tonight. Gah... I'm so stressed. And tired. And freaked out. Told my advisor I had more written than I do... I don't know why that scares me. I know I'll get a lot written for him to look at. He wants me to forget user testing and just defend. I'm scared as shit to defend.
And then everyone keeps freaking asking me what I'm doing when I graduate. How the hell am I supposed to know? *sigh* I wish I could think of a decent answer. But I just don't know. Which, frankly, scares me. And is a reason I can't fall asleep when I try to lie down, either. NOT a good day. I'm really just freaking out. Can't really think straight, so I can't write to calm down. And I can't think of a good movie that might put me to sleep. Damnit. This is NOT my day. LOL
Boyfriend, who is considering killing himself still because of his little accomplishments, is actually in a better state than I am right now. He at least has an income for the next 6 months. I, on the other hand, am getting my last paycheck in a few weeks with no freaking clue what to do next *sigh* LOL It's really sad when your life is much worse than a depressed, suicidal guy's. And yet, he still freaking expects me to try to talk him out of it. LOL
I'm going to go scope out my movies and try to find one to calm me down... and think of something to eat that will keep my arms/hands from shaking so much. LOL Good luck... :-)
