Another Star Wars Drabble
Nov. 22nd, 2003 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarotgalAwwwwwww my poor little sick Jedi! *sniffles*
Sorry, this one kind of snuck out after writing the General Obi fic last night. It's 555 words... cuz I like that number and didn't want to kill it by making it 500 *EG*
Warning- Jedi who is sick to his stomach... but absolutely no actual v-word-ing here.
Another Star Wars Drabble- 555 words
Drabble 2
“hah-SHEW!” His runny nose was worse, and he had no energy to walk to the healing dome for a handkerchief. The sneeze made him shake when he wanted only to remain as still as possible. A soft moan he was glad his Master was not around to hear escaped him. His arms, wrapped around his stomach, tightened. And he curled up even more on the large couch. He felt hot, right down to his feet, but shivered as sweat-soaked clothes met his skin at each movement. And he was constantly moving, rolling around to distract himself from the pain. He breathed heavily to control the urge to get sick and to get breath amidst congestion.
He felt the presence of his Master through their bond before the man even entered. He curled up into more of a ball, closing his eyes in hopes of not being noticed for a mess of sick, shivery-ness. He swept his Padawan braid over his shoulder, rubbed the back of his hand against his nose, and attempted to look as though he’d been trying to meditate.
His Master’s eyes were cold as they surveyed him. He felt a surge of force rush through him, pushing him on to admit his illness first. But he felt too sick to want to risk opening his mouth, let alone explain how the fever and congestion and nausea had all struck him at once after Créche duty. “Sick are you, my young Padawan?” He nodded, trying to send back an explanation and request for help. “Well, you’d best get better soon. I don’t mind you taking time away from classes, but I need your help going through that research the council assigned us.” His Master reached down and rubbed his hand against the buzzed hair, then walked past on his way towards his bedroom.
He made to get up for a cup of tea and a blanket, both of which he desperately needed, but a fresh wave of dizziness and tickles in his nose struck, making him feel worse and keeping him down against the soft cushions of the couch. “hah-hah-CHEW!” He sniffled and brought his hand away from his tummy to rub his nose. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to think of some way of getting the desired items. He was too young to guide them over with the force from such distances, and it was clear he wasn’t going to be able to stand up for a while yet. Feeling defeated, he tried not to let the illness take what few emotions over which he was still in control.
“Here. Let me.” He felt a warm blanket surround him, and a hot mug against one hand. Opening his eyes, he saw his Master hovering, looking stern and uncompromising. “Next time you get sick, try to do it in your room so I don’t have to bear witness. And do try to keep your germs to yourself while you heal.” The Master pressed a hand to his Padawan’s forehead with a frown and a soft surge of healing vibes.
“Thank you, Master,” Qui-Gon replied, taking a sip of the tea “I will try better next time,” he choked, his voice hoarse, quiet. “And I promise to recover quickly, Master.”
“See that you do,” said Master Dooku with a firm, approving nod.
And wow! Silverelf gets the prize for the first challenge submission! And it's from FAKE! *drool* Oohhh! *wants desperately to peek!* I shall be good, though and satisfy myself with the lovely summary only :-)
Sorry, this one kind of snuck out after writing the General Obi fic last night. It's 555 words... cuz I like that number and didn't want to kill it by making it 500 *EG*
Warning- Jedi who is sick to his stomach... but absolutely no actual v-word-ing here.
Another Star Wars Drabble- 555 words
Drabble 2
“hah-SHEW!” His runny nose was worse, and he had no energy to walk to the healing dome for a handkerchief. The sneeze made him shake when he wanted only to remain as still as possible. A soft moan he was glad his Master was not around to hear escaped him. His arms, wrapped around his stomach, tightened. And he curled up even more on the large couch. He felt hot, right down to his feet, but shivered as sweat-soaked clothes met his skin at each movement. And he was constantly moving, rolling around to distract himself from the pain. He breathed heavily to control the urge to get sick and to get breath amidst congestion.
He felt the presence of his Master through their bond before the man even entered. He curled up into more of a ball, closing his eyes in hopes of not being noticed for a mess of sick, shivery-ness. He swept his Padawan braid over his shoulder, rubbed the back of his hand against his nose, and attempted to look as though he’d been trying to meditate.
His Master’s eyes were cold as they surveyed him. He felt a surge of force rush through him, pushing him on to admit his illness first. But he felt too sick to want to risk opening his mouth, let alone explain how the fever and congestion and nausea had all struck him at once after Créche duty. “Sick are you, my young Padawan?” He nodded, trying to send back an explanation and request for help. “Well, you’d best get better soon. I don’t mind you taking time away from classes, but I need your help going through that research the council assigned us.” His Master reached down and rubbed his hand against the buzzed hair, then walked past on his way towards his bedroom.
He made to get up for a cup of tea and a blanket, both of which he desperately needed, but a fresh wave of dizziness and tickles in his nose struck, making him feel worse and keeping him down against the soft cushions of the couch. “hah-hah-CHEW!” He sniffled and brought his hand away from his tummy to rub his nose. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to think of some way of getting the desired items. He was too young to guide them over with the force from such distances, and it was clear he wasn’t going to be able to stand up for a while yet. Feeling defeated, he tried not to let the illness take what few emotions over which he was still in control.
“Here. Let me.” He felt a warm blanket surround him, and a hot mug against one hand. Opening his eyes, he saw his Master hovering, looking stern and uncompromising. “Next time you get sick, try to do it in your room so I don’t have to bear witness. And do try to keep your germs to yourself while you heal.” The Master pressed a hand to his Padawan’s forehead with a frown and a soft surge of healing vibes.
“Thank you, Master,” Qui-Gon replied, taking a sip of the tea “I will try better next time,” he choked, his voice hoarse, quiet. “And I promise to recover quickly, Master.”
“See that you do,” said Master Dooku with a firm, approving nod.
And wow! Silverelf gets the prize for the first challenge submission! And it's from FAKE! *drool* Oohhh! *wants desperately to peek!* I shall be good, though and satisfy myself with the lovely summary only :-)
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Date: 2003-11-22 07:44 pm (UTC)~Annalisa (who is always the first to sense Jedi fic whenever it presents itself!) *G*
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Date: 2003-11-22 08:02 pm (UTC)Yeah, I was inspired to write that after going on a bit too much about Qui & Dooku in 'Aftermath'
And despite my phobia, and a huge scare I had with it yesterday, I was really in the mood for a really sick Jedi fic... stomach pains and fever and all. I just couldn't choose between Obi and Qui for a while so this was the result.
I actually read a story on the Master-Apprentice list a while back that I was SURE was Qui/Obi until I got to the VERY end and it was Obi/Ani and it freaked me out. Like, cold sweat, omg sort of freaking out. So I thought I would go for something similar... glad it worked... or, er, sorry it worked?
And certainly, with an experience like that, Qui-Gon would never be so cold and harsh to his padawan. Even if he does take after his master in other ways.
This was my first attempt at Dooku, and I feel I got his character all wrong... I think of him as better then than he is "now" but... gah... I dunno.I think I need to explore him more before I make too many more stabs at him.
I'll stop rambling now. Point is, yay! Poor, sweet Qui-Gon :-) And glad it hit you as I'd intended. Thanks for your feedback... especially as I'm new to short things- I'm really making an effort. You just don't see the roughly 20 failures for every 1 I post here! LOL!
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Date: 2003-11-22 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-22 08:18 pm (UTC)Point is, the story was written ambiguous to make you think just that, so tis perfectly understandable. I'd freak if you'd thought it was Qui and Dooku from the beginning!
Thanks, about the balancing comments, though. That brings up a really interesting idea, though. In how canon Qui is much more like my idea of Dooku than I'd have liked him to be! In a lot of ways those two are more alike than Obi and Qui are. Not that Qui would ever, ever, ever go to the dark side, though! I don't mean to imply that. But yeah... your comments in your first post have actually given me a *lot* more to think about as far as their characteristics and interactions with each other. So no need to be embarrassed!
I'm glad you liked it, though, from both perspectives. :-) Like I told Annalisa, I am enjoying writing the drabbles... even if I'm still not very good at it. I really enjoy using a lot of description and words, in general. It's hard to cut it down on purpose. And you all just don't get to see all my failed attempts! :-)
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Date: 2003-11-22 08:56 pm (UTC)I love your drabbles! They're always yummy and make me want to write my own. I should, I know I should. But something just hits me when I have the word processor up, and I'm kind of like "... duhh..." And close it in inky black disappointment. Bah.
I'm not sure what posessed me to finish my winglet ((which is what I'm deciding to call them from now on lol)) but I did and yay! I'm glad you didn't peek, though it would have been fun to get an opinion. Next time I feel the incredible urge to write, I'll do another FAKE winglet for you. :) Just because you've always been so awesome with the sharing your gift with all of us. Aww. Love to you!
But yes, ramblings aside, fantastic story. Can I kick Dooku? Please? In the bum?
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Date: 2003-11-22 09:14 pm (UTC)And glad you liked :-) Thanks! And sorry to you and everyone else for making it seem like Qui was being such a meanie. I know he's not all tea and shnuggles in canon, but that's how he is in my head and I don't like the idea of writing him any other way right now *G* Certainly never this cold and uncaring about his Padawan!
Anyhoo... glad you liked it! And thanks for the fb!
It's soooo hard not to peek as I code... and I saw maybe, er, 5 or 6 words? And a sneeze. But just words here and there(it's hard not to see them when you're putting in tags and things!). Gah! Is it January 5th yet? Can I read it? huh, huh, can I? *G* But I'm a good girl and with the job comes responsibility and honesty and I'd never forgive myself if I peeked at a fic before I was allowed to read it.
Oohh I'd *love* if you wrote another winglet... one I could read, er, more immediately :-)
Mmmmm... the boys are much too adorable :-)
And honestly, I understand what you mean about going blank with the word processing document open. If I don't have a clear idea in my head when I start, I go blank. And my new trick/understanding is that if I start a story in a blnk document and DON'T save it, I write steadily and quickly and get a really good start. I think there's something in the fear of it possibly crashing on me and my losing it (word crashes about 3 times a week, making me lose all changes since I last saved). I find that if I start a new story it flows out of my head quickly and perfectly... until I save the document. Then I start getting stuck, for some reason. Maybe because I feel safe with it, like I could go back to it any time... the magic wears off... it's WEIRD. But we all have our little problems when it comes to writing. I do a lot of writing by hand when I get stuck. When I feel inspired between meetings, out on the couch in the living room, or waiting for the bus, etc. Then when I get home to the comp I type it up and ccan usually extend it from there. Yeah.. we all have our problems... trick is finding what works best for you :-) And if short things work best, I say, bring on the winglets! *G*
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Date: 2003-11-22 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-22 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-22 09:46 pm (UTC)I understand the temptation you must be feeling, even if it is just to read something I wrote. You have much more will power than I ever will. I wouldn't be able to hold back from reading. But I'm glad you're not. I think the longer that thingy goes without human eyes seeing it the better. Yep, I just don't feel good about it at all. I probably shouldn't have sumbmitted it, but it's too late for that now. I'll try to write something better later. *nods*
But yes! I did write another winglet, as you may know. It's on my journal, all nice and shiney and new. I seem to have found my comfort zones with the boys. I love them so, and I've read each of the mangas about 15 times over, so yeah. I'm pretty comfortable with that. Heh. So it's there if you want to read it. *g*
I find I have the same problem with the starting something, saving it, coming back and not being able to work on it. The spark is always just gone. When I start a new story or whatever, there's always the excitement of something new there. Then when I open the document again later, it's hard to drag it up again. Which makes me kind of pitiful as a writer, but there you go. That's why I'm drifting more towards the winglets now, because I can get them done in one shot. So... there you go. :)
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Date: 2003-11-22 10:06 pm (UTC)Actually.. was just glancing through Christopher Lee's bio. My GOSH! The man has played 'Death' way too many times to be natural! LOL! But then again, he's got the right look for it. I guess that's what happens when you get cast as a vampire so many times. Just natural progression from undead to dead to... evil. I don't know how Sherlock Holmes fits into the theory, though. I'll have to keep working on that. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000489/
Anyway, I'm *sure* your fic is worthy of praise and I'm very glad you did submit it! It's good to be brave every so often! Yes it is! Thank you for pointing me to your journal (I hadn't seen it, but have no) because if that one is *any* indication, I will SO be loving your first one! Awwww!!! If I do a good job of writing this weekend, my treat is going to be buying the first mangas for Gravi and FAKE as a reward to myself. Best to reward myself now before I graduate and have no source of income. heehee! Anyway... now I'm rather tempted to write a FAKE fic... but I think I need to see the OAV again and read the mangas at least first before I presume to know their characters well enough to write!
And you're absolutely right about coming back to something. Usually I have to read through all I've written of it before just to get in the mood, let alone the right tone and knowing what's happening afterwards! That's probably why I always have so many stories open on the comp at one time... because I know it's going to be harder to pick them up again once I close them! And that's probably why I've been writing a LOT more shorter fics in the last half a year than I ever have in my life. I have SO many long, unfinished stories that I love... but just can't seem to finish!
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Date: 2003-11-22 10:10 pm (UTC)