Ew ew ew ew ewwwwww!

[tarotgal]

Ever write something that squicks you? I mean, bigtime? Something you never thought you'd write? And yet, it just bursts out from your fingers or your mind or somewhere. And it's icky?

I was writing a Draco-based sneezefic from Snape's pov. And all was going well. I was avoiding every possible Snape/Draco insinuation and move. Everything was all well and good. And then, suddenly, Snape makes the story flashback to his first year at Hogwarts. So I'm thinking, okay, that's fine. I can draw some nice parallels between the Malfoys... and then YICK! Underage sex! Right then and there! And I'm not even sure if it's consensual! ICKNESS! I mean, okay, by American courts the way they are today, it probably would be judged willing, but it's still underage sex... and from an outsider perspective, no, uh-uh, it was SO forced it's not even funny. And ewwwwwwww! That is SO not my thing!
Gah... I *was* writing it for the challenge... one of the word challenges... bunny, I dunno, 13 or something. I don't have them memorized. And now I'm all ICK! Who in their right mind would want to read this as a challenge submission? Okay, so, yeah, the Draco bits are great. ANd damnit, I SO channeled Snape. It's lovely. But the implied sex? YICK! Why the heck would anyone want to read that as a holiday present? LOL! I'm thinking of finishing it and just scrapping it at this point. I'm really squicking myself out here. It's just NOT right for stuff like that to pop so easily out of my head and scare me! LOL!

Comments

[iff]

Oh yes. I did the same thing. Fortunately Harry and Draco decided they didn't want me looking in about halfway through the sex. Thank ghod. Because it was Harry/Draco (which I don't much care for), and it was non-con, and it was just not anything that I would've expected to come out of my brain. But this bunny jumped out and bit me and it wasn't 'til the sex started happening that I realized that it took place during PoA, which meant that they were 13, and I couldn't even just explain it away by saying "but they're legal in Japan" like I do with so many other things...it was just wrong. That little bunny got kicked out of the bunnyhutch.

So go, daydream of pretty boys who are of age, and use their lovely images to bleach the squickiness out of your brain. *HUGS*

[tarotgal]

I think I will... I just want to finish this story, now that the squicky, unexpected flashback is over, and then never read it again *shudder*

But it's VERY comforting to know this has happened to someone else before *G* I just... ew! Why the heck did that come out of my head?! You know? Luckily Lucius and Severus did nothing more than kiss before it went "off camera" and the fb ended. They never intended to have sex in front of me. But still... ew... just the idea... especially the non-con part...
darn characters! Why must they insist on doing things their own way, not the way we want them to? LOL Ewww... so was it Draco forcing Harry, then? Or *gulp* the other way around?

I was really happy when I started writing Kem/Omi stories to find a nice long list of all the laws in countries around the world, telling how old guys have to be in order to be legal to have sex in straight or gay relationships, etc. Twas a lot easier to write knowing that technically if Omi was willing, all was well and good and nothing to worry about. Chan really isn't my thing at all :-)

I mean... I know I probably blur the lines where Qui and Obi are concerned... and it's different when Remus and Sirius are students and together because, well, they're the same age and they're my puppies! And I won't write them romantically before 5th year anyway.
But yeah... I'm not a Harry/Draco fan at all... in fact, honestly, I can't think of anyone I'd like to slash Harry with apart from Ron. Harry/Ginny does nada for me... And Cho... I dunno... I didn't mind her, but she should have *talked* to Harry instead of just assumed he'd understand, because we all know boys never understand anything when they're supposed to.
Oohhh Neville... there's one. But that's not really a long term sort of pairing in my head. Just a... I dunno... Neville deserves him, sort of thing. LOL Not that I pity the lad... he's just, well, deserving. And whooboy, am I off topic.
Point is, thanks for reassuring me that I'm not going nuts. I think I need to just stick with James for now :-)

[glitter-sprite.livejournal.com]

You know you're a great author when your characters take over, TG :)

[tarotgal]

No, that's sort of a pseudo-squick... but it certainly counts as far as the concept goes. It's just... yikes... I really startled myself with it. I'm sure in the long run it's not all that bad (the boys seem to be carrying on as though it were consensual) it's just icky to read through again. LOL
But no, I completely agree with you. MUCH easier to write it than read it. If I get halfway through a fic and I stumble on something I don't like, usually I have no problem dropping the fic and not returning or ever wondering what happens. I hadn't really thought of that, but you're very right. It's easier to write because it's just recording what I see and hear the characters doing. When reading I have to work at understanding and feeling the story... and if it's not my thing, that hits harder than if I'm less involved and just recording it. *hrm* Goes off to ponder some more. Thanks :-)