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tarotgalHad a bad day yesterday. Big surprise.
- Worked on my response to weekly hatching #34 yesterday. Finished it (I'm not entirely pleased with it, so I could use feedback) and posted it to the sneezefic list this morning
- Finished a nonsneezefic SW ficlet, and decided to be done with my Remus/Sirius ficlet that began as a drabble but exploded to a ficlet. I updated a couple of my non sneezing sites with those fics and some others. I'm working up the courage to post one of them on the SBRL list *crosses fingers*
Very very long fic feedback
Date: 2004-11-07 03:56 pm (UTC)First of all, I was totally blown away by the way you wove so many themes into a challenge that was created with nothing more complex in mind than some simple Halloween-ish sneeziness. I managed to pick up three main themes, though if there were more in there that I wasn't perceptive enough to pick up, please let me know.
The first theme, and perhaps most obvious simply from the fic title, is control. As an avid reader of H/C fic, this is definitely a fun one to play with, and in many different ways. The second theme, deeply tied in to control, is comfort. It was a joy to read the subtle play of give and take in these themes that you demonstrated in the relationship between Legolas and Gimli. Gimli's fears of the storm and the height of the tree, Legolas's illness...these are losses of control. Both the elf and the dwarf seem equally good at the comfort role, and are quite perceptive in judging what is needed by his other half and when. They complement each other perfectly: when one is afraid, the other quick to reassure him; when one is weak, the other strong; in battle, one attacks from the distance, the other excells in close range; and they both just have an enormous amount of heart, deep wellsprings of emotion that they don't always put on public display. I think this just gets right down to the core of why I think Legolas and Gimli are so right for each other...they just fit. It feels destined. It was simply beautiful to read, tg.
The other theme, executed in such vivid details that I couldn't help but sit up and take notice of, is light and dark. You did an even better job with the 'dark and stormy night' part than I expected. It took me right back to my childhood, where I used to close my eyes and count the seconds between lightning and thunder, wishing that the loud noises would stop. (Of course, nowdays, I adore thunderstorms and would gladly stand outside on a porch and risk getting a little damp just to watch...but this fic really took me back.) Poor sweet Gimli, so stoic in trying to prevent the elf from noticing his dislike of being in the tall trees...the storm just pushed him over the edge of what he could tolerate.
As for the light, I gasped out loud when I read your description of Legolas getting out of bed to close the shutters. That image of the bare feet, with white nightshirt and golden hair blown about by the storm winds is forever seared into my memory. I don't think I've read anything so wildly beautiful in a very, very long time. This was pretty much equally matched by the mirror scene in the morning, of Legolas standing by the window in the same nightshirt, only this time radiantly golden and calm, instead of wild and untamed. Gimli wasn't the only one to feel something stir inside when the elf reached for the leaf. Legolas's simple statment of 'It has passed' was delightfully understated, and yet effectively drove home the point of the story better than any long verbal exchange could. (I couldn't help being slightly disappointed that he wasn't ill anymore, but I guess the poor elf has to be well sometimes, despite my twisted designs on his health!*G*)
*As my comments are too long, see the continuation in the next post*
part 1
Date: 2004-11-08 02:21 am (UTC)No worries at all. I had every confidence that you'd say something to me about it when you got the chance :-) Hope you had a fun time with your parents!
First of all, I was totally blown away by the way you wove so many themes into a challenge that was created with nothing more complex in mind than some simple Halloween-ish sneeziness. I managed to pick up three main themes, though if there were more in there that I wasn't perceptive enough to pick up, please let me know.
The ones you pointed out were the only intentional ones, really. Well, those three and how they complimented the differences between the elf and dwarf. So, yeah, you got 'em! :-)
The first theme, and perhaps most obvious simply from the fic title, is control.
Don't think titling it that took away from anything, do you? I so suckith at titles.
I wanted an unequal sort of balance between that which Gim could control and that which he couldn't. He could control minor elements at time... just not make anything go away entirely. I hope that came across.
The second theme, deeply tied in to control, is comfort.
Excellently said!
It was a joy to read the subtle play of give and take in these themes that you demonstrated in the relationship between Legolas and Gimli.
*BG* Thank you!
Both the elf and the dwarf seem equally good at the comfort role, and are quite perceptive in judging what is needed by his other half and when. They complement each other perfectly...
*deep sigh* I am quite relieved you pointed that out. I was afraid that wouldn't come through at all. I really enjoyed writing Legolas' part in the comforting- it was obvious Gimli wasn't fine. But I liked writing the typical "hears/knows the opposite of whatever the other was saying" bit.
when one is afraid, the other quick to reassure him; when one is weak, the other strong; in battle, one attacks from the distance, the other excells in close range; and they both just have an enormous amount of heart, deep wellsprings of emotion that they don't always put on public display. I think this just gets right down to the core of why I think Legolas and Gimli are so right for each other...they just fit. It feels destined. It was simply beautiful to read, tg.
Excellently said as well. Lots of people say it's an "opposites attract" sort of thing with them. But I've never really thought of them as that different. At their cores, they share the same values and emotions and ability to understand which allowed them to form a friendship and then more. They compliment each other, and fit together, just like you said. And even though there are clear differences, to me there's a lot more they share.
I especially like your likening it to their fighting styles. They're a lot tougher than they look.
I must make note to write an arguement fic of some sort that plays off that as well. With lots of yummy making up at the end of course.
Re: part 1
Date: 2004-11-11 01:58 pm (UTC)Oooh, an argument fic sounds like lots of fun...and I get shivers imagining the make-up sex!
Re: part 1
Date: 2004-11-11 08:40 pm (UTC)And I'm glad you found the desire to dig enjoyable :-)
Any ideas on what to make an argument about? Because the ideas my muses are throwing at me are not helpful. And I've been watching too much Justin/Brian lately- I couldn't possibly write arguments so well as theirs... heehee Oh, but, yes indeed. Definitely make-up sex :-)
Re: part 1
Date: 2004-11-11 10:25 pm (UTC)Also, what time period would this be set? Obviously, if it's after the Ring War, then a lot of their Elf/Dwarf differences have probably already been discussed, settled, and put behind them, although that doesn't keep random issues from popping up from time to time.
More likely than a cultural argument, I see them getting into serious arguments about overprotectiveness, being reckless with their own safety in their attempts to protect the other, etc. This would play really well in tandem with some good H/C overtones, I think, though then the sex would have to be a little less...vigorous, in deference to the recovering one.*G* I can also see them arguing about issues relating to mortality vs. immortality, and Gimli distancing himself to not want to cause Legolas pain when he eventually dies. The resulting hurt feelings and misunderstandings would definitely strain relations for awhile.
I also have this pet idea about Legolas sinking into depression and struggling to cope with sea longing, and Gimli having to say some pretty harsh things to snap him out of it. (Not to be confused with my other pet idea of the sea longing weakening Elven protection against disease *G*).
Hmmm...those are all pretty angsty. Hopefully I helped a little bit though...
part 2
Date: 2004-11-08 02:24 am (UTC)I adore thunderstorms, too :-) But I'll also admit to have been camping through a number of very bad ones that were quite frightening. So I can relate to Gimli as well. Being out in the middle of a storm in an unstable, uncomfortable position is much different from just watching it from a window. I'm thrilled the description was vivid enough to take you back that way. *hugs*
Poor sweet Gimli, so stoic in trying to prevent the elf from noticing his dislike of being in the tall trees...the storm just pushed him over the edge of what he could tolerate.
Do you think his 'not minding the height quite so much now that he's lived through the violent storm and has Legolas to look out for him' reaction was realistic enough? I felt like it might have been a little too quick, even for stoic Gimli.
As for the light, I gasped out loud when I read your description of Legolas getting out of bed to close the shutters... I don't think I've read anything so wildly beautiful in a very, very long time.
I'm so pleased! I loved that image and rewrote it so many times... it's still not quite right but I'm pretty sure the reader gets what I was getting at :-) But... yeah... I'm so thrilled you liked it that!
This was pretty much equally matched by the mirror scene in the morning, of Legolas standing by the window in the same nightshirt, only this time radiantly golden and calm, instead of wild and untamed.
While writing that, I kept flashing on that scene at the end of RotK with him smiling at Frodo in bed. That togetherness and that glow...
And then I kept flashing on another Legolas-in-the-morning fic- the hot tub one, actually.
But I'm so glad you liked the polar opposite images there. Because that was definitely what I was going for.
Gimli wasn't the only one to feel something stir inside when the elf reached for the leaf.
*G* I'm so glad :-)
And speaking of the leaf... I wasn't sure if it was overkill mentioning the colors to represent the elf and dwarf and the dark night and bright morning. I figured it would either go over peoples' heads or be overkill.
And sorry his cold passed so quickly. When I'm more awake tomorrow I'll get back to you on that point and your other post here. I need to be awake in less than 2 hours and I'm not even ready for bed yet.
But if I haven't said so already- thank you ever so much for such thoughtful feedback. I really wanted to do a good job with this one. Especially as it was slightly less fluffy than I usually write :-) I'm thrilled you liked it so much!
More feedback tomorrow- sorry!
Re: part 2
Date: 2004-11-11 02:51 pm (UTC)It may have been a little quick, but I rationalized that it had more to do with leaning against a glowing Legolas (which would certainly distract me!), and less to do with having completely gotten over his fear after surviving the storm or something like that.
You definitely succeeded in getting that across. That whole scene had a warm, glowy feeling like many of the Rivendell scenes in FOTR, and the morning description of Legolas was definitely a 'Legolas-appearing-in-Frodo's-doorway-and-dear-Lord-I've-never-seen-anything-that-gorgeous' moment *G*
I'm embarassed to admit that I didn't pick up on the connection between the leaf and the elf/dwarf hair colors, nor did I connect it to the night and the morning. By that point, I think I was just letting myself get swept away by the moment. Thanks for pointing it out to me! It's a lovely touch.
It's ok. Like I said before, the poor dear has to be well at least *some* of the time...otherwise he'd have an awfully hard time being Elf Lord for his people in Ithilien, or managing to get out and visit Aragorn from time to time. :)
Re: part 2
Date: 2004-11-11 02:53 pm (UTC)Re: part 2
Date: 2004-11-11 08:29 pm (UTC)<i>This is in italics</i>
becomes
This is in italics
Re: part 2
Date: 2004-11-11 09:54 pm (UTC)Good :-) Hey, I'd be more than happy standing next to Legolas when he looked like that, knowing he was feeling better and wouldn't let me fall to my death. I'd hoped it would be the same for Gimli
I'm embarassed to admit that I didn't pick up on the connection between the leaf and the elf/dwarf hair colors, nor did I connect it to the night and the morning. By that point, I think I was just letting myself get swept away by the moment. Thanks for pointing it out to me! It's a lovely touch.
heehee No worries. Like I said, I figured it would either be missed completely or be overkill. I'd prefer the former to the latter, I think, especially when it means you were "swept away by the moment" *hugs* Thanks!
It's ok. Like I said before, the poor dear has to be well at least *some* of the time...otherwise he'd have an awfully hard time being Elf Lord for his people in Ithilien, or managing to get out and visit Aragorn from time to time. :)
Absolutely right!! *giggle*
Very very long fic comment continued
Date: 2004-11-07 03:56 pm (UTC)Finally, I have one question that simply begs for an answer. How sick was Legolas that Gimli needed to be called for, and how long was he ill? It's not exactly a short trip from the Glittering Caves to Ithilien, and I doubt Gimli could make it in less than several days of hard riding (and then there's the time it would take a message to get there in the first place). More to the point, I can't believe the elf would admit weakness readily, or stop carrying out his normal duties as Elf Lord because of a simple cold, even if he were contagious. I can only conclude that Legolas must have been very badly off for more than just a few days to necessitate a message to Gimli, whether Legolas sent for him willingly, or one of his advisors sent the message. Either way, it's definitely something that made me curious, and sounds like an illness I'd like to hear more about...poor Elf! *G*
Anyway, I guess that concludes this very wordy fic discussion. If you're still reading, thanks for humoring me, and double thanks for making your response to the challenge fic be a Legolas/Gimli fic. Here's your *HUGS* as promised! Thanks for a truly beautiful fic!
Re: Very very long fic comment continued
Date: 2004-11-11 11:41 pm (UTC)Heehee! But I'm sure his snores are perfect elf-type snores. Light and even and breathy when breathing out. Not at all like I imaine Gimli's. Or, wait, do we have snoring!Gimli movie-canon? I think we do... ;-) *tries to resist urge to write a snoring fic*
The sleepiness and stuffy talk put me on Cloud Nine for hours, and I simply must get me my own Clingy!Legolas to cuddle. I'd really love to see a fic exploring the reactions of some of their friends when Legolas goes into dwarf-cuddle-mode. This part wouldn't by chance have been influenced by that recent drawing on Axe_Bow, would it? Because that was certainly what I was imagining when they cuddled up together in bed! *G*
LOL! But of COURSE it was! I started the fic something like an hour after putting that pic up as my desktop wallpaper! And I adore clingy!Legolas- in fact, I submitted a bunny to the weekly hatching thingy to that end last week *G*
Anyway, I loved it, and got extra special enjoyment of the elf complaining in 'cold-speak' how much he hated being ill, and his miserable-sounding request to be held. Definitely a melty moment for me...
*G* I'm so happy you liked it!!
Finally, I have one question that simply begs for an answer. How sick was Legolas that Gimli needed to be called for, and how long was he ill?
*hides in corner, wishing people hadn't picked up on that* Okay, so that occurred to me halfway through the fic but by then it was too cute an idea for me to want to change it. Plus I'd written that part about how Gimli had been sent for the moment Legolas felt a case of the sniffles coming on. So in MY imagination, Legolas was able to somehow sense that he was getting sick VERY early on and sent for Gimli, sensing how bad it was going to be. (Though I somewhat suspect he might have played up its severity at first in order to get Gimli to come- just because he missed Gimli and wanted him there)
So if it's... what 3 days by horseback according to my calculations? But the more important question to be asking is: how did he GET there so quickly? I can't imagine him being called for by an elf and walking the whole way. Nor can I imagine him riding behind an elf other than Legolas... or riding a horse alone- even Arod (who I'm sure got used to him almost falling off repeatedly after a while). So possibly a pony? Or perhaps his concern was such that he rode with the messenger...
More to the point, I can't believe the elf would admit weakness readily, or stop carrying out his normal duties as Elf Lord because of a simple cold, even if he were contagious.
DAMN but that begs for another fic, now doesn't it? *swoons at the delicious images you've made pop into my head*
Though in this case, like I said above, it was probably more like a premonition and a bit of exaggeration at that point. Not to say he was exaggerating in the fic... I can see him being tough, putting on pretences, and not admiting anything until Gimli arrived; then he could confide in Gimli and feel miserable freely. Perhaps sort of like holding the symptoms back until he was sure he could break down and had someone who could take care of him properly.
If you're still reading, thanks for humoring me,
Oh, silly! I adore your feedback!
and double thanks for making your response to the challenge fic be a Legolas/Gimli fic. Here's your *HUGS* as promised! Thanks for a truly beautiful fic!
You're most welcome!! Thank you for an irresistable bunny! I'm thinking of possibly writing a Snapefic for it as well... when I can get out from under some of my other current fics.