Halloween HP Ficlet
Oct. 31st, 2005 12:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarotgalA little Halloween puppy fic for everyone... I hope it makes sense and that people "get" it :-)
Title: Off-Color
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my active imagination
Summary: It's Halloween and Remus has a head cold. That's not a surprise…
Notes: The idea for this struck me as I was coding Vignette's story 'Awake'. I wrote this in honor of Halloween 2005. The sections are exactly 500 words long each.
Off-Color
Not ten minutes down the hallway, Remus Lupin fell back against a wall. He dug around in the right pocket of his robes for a handkerchief, feeling nothing but a few balled-up tissues. He wasn't much for swearing, but a few of the more colorful words the Marauders used when stuck in dreadful situations popped into his mind. He held a hand up to his face as he fumbled with the other in the left pocket.
The sneeze came just as his hand closed around the very thing he'd been searching for and another less than tasteful word filled his mind as he doubled over. "ihhhYIHshhhh!" His two hands met at chest-level as he wiped one dry. He sniffed liquidly and mopped at his nose with the hanky. "Wretched cold," he muttered through a sigh. "ihhh…" His head snapped forward. "HIHShhh! ihhhKShhh!"
Remus was certainly no stranger to head colds. It was something about the colder months and the terribly drafty castle that brought them about. He seemed to attract colds like a magnet. He'd felt a bit weary and off-color earlier that day, but a cup of tea had put him right. Or so he'd thought at the time. For now he was a very sniffly, sneezy magnet who couldn't manage to make it from one room to the other without stopping in-between to tend to his nose.
He sniffed hard again and lifted his head. Several girls ran past him, wearing orange and black ribbons in their hair. He could hear the excitement rising from the Great Hall even though he was not yet there. He would expect nothing less than a fine celebration for this year's Halloween at Hogwarts. Dumbledore always went all-out for this sort of thing. And considering this was also a Hogsmede weekend, the Remus anticipated that the excitement in the Great Hall would be at a fever pitch.
However, Remus did not feel especially festive just now. He felt like going to his room and curling up in his four-poster bed with a book and another cup of tea. And, perhaps, a embarrassingly tall stack of handkerchiefs. "ehhhh…" He brought his current handkerchief to his face, rubbing his nose through it for a moment, then, "ehhh-ihhh-YIHHKChhhh!" His breath caught almost immediately afterwards. His jaw dropped wide and his body tensed up even more than before. "IhhhTChuhhh!" His blows were moist and deep but thankfully muffled by the handkerchief.
No one in the hallway paid him any attention. In all the excitement over the holiday, there was no reason they should notice him, really. He had a feeling that might change once he got to the Great Hall. He could imagine being swarmed with well-wishers and advice and he wasn't overly anxious to call such attention to his cold. Though he could also envision the looks he'd get from Snape or Madam Pomfrey and definitely preferred the well-wishers to sinister glances and smothering. Somehow, the hallway seemed like the place to be for now.
*
Not ten minutes down the passage, Sirius Black froze and fell back against the wall. It was busy now, as everyone was headed into the Great Hall for the Halloween Feast, but through the masses of students he spotted Remus. He wasn't really surprised at this as he'd been attracted to Remus like a magnet since their very first day at Hogwarts.
Remus stood snuffling into a handkerchief, looking a little lonely and looking quite off-color. Sirius saw Remus' lip twitch slightly and knew a sneeze was brewing perhaps even before Remus knew it himself. But he already had the handkerchief up and nearby. He buried his nose deep in its folds as he snapped forward. "ihhhh-YIHShhhh! Hehh… hehh-IHHChahhh! HihhShuhh!"
"He's come down with another bloody cold," Sirius whispered to himself with a considerable amount of sympathy for his friend. He had been hopeful that maybe it was just a case of the sniffles and fatigue from the fact that the full moon was so near. Sirius knew it was near, and could practically sense it was near. Just as he could sense the discomfort Remus was in just now. It was clearly a head cold, though.
Sirius wanted to rush right over, take Remus in his arms, and sweep him off to bed. After brewing some tea, Sirius would curl up with Remus under the layers of covers and read him to sleep, taking care that there was a liberal supply of fresh handkerchiefs as Remus' colds always tended to require so many.
"hihhh-YIHChhhh-KISHHH!" The strong double-sneeze was almost too much for Sirius to bear. Remus had never been one for public displays of affection, but Sirius wanted so badly to go to him and hold him right then and there until the sneezes passed. It felt horrible to know that could not happen. Damn Remus for being so irresistible and needing him.
"ihhhh-yih-HIHShhhh!" Remus sneezed again, and blew his nose. The crowd had thinned by now and finally Remus left his spot to head towards the Great Hall. Sirius left his own spot and followed Remus with his gaze. He saw the doors to the Hall swing open for a moment, revealing the brilliant decorations from colorful streamers to levitating, lit pumpkins and candles. He saw the sea of students with their bright faces and oblivious smiles, just as he'd seen in Hogsmede earlier that day. He watched as Remus in his patched robes disappeared out of sight, heading for a seat.
Sirius sighed deeply. More than almost anything, he wanted to go to Remus and help Remus feel better. But he could not. There was something he needed to do that he felt was even more important. Sirius ran a hand through his long, tangled hair. With a deep breath he turned on his heals and walked away towards Gryffindor Tower, desperate to get to the third years' dormitory room. Distracted by the sight of Remus, however, Sirius forgot the fact that he didn't know the password.
:-) Happy Halloween!
Title: Off-Color
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my active imagination
Summary: It's Halloween and Remus has a head cold. That's not a surprise…
Notes: The idea for this struck me as I was coding Vignette's story 'Awake'. I wrote this in honor of Halloween 2005. The sections are exactly 500 words long each.
Off-Color
Not ten minutes down the hallway, Remus Lupin fell back against a wall. He dug around in the right pocket of his robes for a handkerchief, feeling nothing but a few balled-up tissues. He wasn't much for swearing, but a few of the more colorful words the Marauders used when stuck in dreadful situations popped into his mind. He held a hand up to his face as he fumbled with the other in the left pocket.
The sneeze came just as his hand closed around the very thing he'd been searching for and another less than tasteful word filled his mind as he doubled over. "ihhhYIHshhhh!" His two hands met at chest-level as he wiped one dry. He sniffed liquidly and mopped at his nose with the hanky. "Wretched cold," he muttered through a sigh. "ihhh…" His head snapped forward. "HIHShhh! ihhhKShhh!"
Remus was certainly no stranger to head colds. It was something about the colder months and the terribly drafty castle that brought them about. He seemed to attract colds like a magnet. He'd felt a bit weary and off-color earlier that day, but a cup of tea had put him right. Or so he'd thought at the time. For now he was a very sniffly, sneezy magnet who couldn't manage to make it from one room to the other without stopping in-between to tend to his nose.
He sniffed hard again and lifted his head. Several girls ran past him, wearing orange and black ribbons in their hair. He could hear the excitement rising from the Great Hall even though he was not yet there. He would expect nothing less than a fine celebration for this year's Halloween at Hogwarts. Dumbledore always went all-out for this sort of thing. And considering this was also a Hogsmede weekend, the Remus anticipated that the excitement in the Great Hall would be at a fever pitch.
However, Remus did not feel especially festive just now. He felt like going to his room and curling up in his four-poster bed with a book and another cup of tea. And, perhaps, a embarrassingly tall stack of handkerchiefs. "ehhhh…" He brought his current handkerchief to his face, rubbing his nose through it for a moment, then, "ehhh-ihhh-YIHHKChhhh!" His breath caught almost immediately afterwards. His jaw dropped wide and his body tensed up even more than before. "IhhhTChuhhh!" His blows were moist and deep but thankfully muffled by the handkerchief.
No one in the hallway paid him any attention. In all the excitement over the holiday, there was no reason they should notice him, really. He had a feeling that might change once he got to the Great Hall. He could imagine being swarmed with well-wishers and advice and he wasn't overly anxious to call such attention to his cold. Though he could also envision the looks he'd get from Snape or Madam Pomfrey and definitely preferred the well-wishers to sinister glances and smothering. Somehow, the hallway seemed like the place to be for now.
Not ten minutes down the passage, Sirius Black froze and fell back against the wall. It was busy now, as everyone was headed into the Great Hall for the Halloween Feast, but through the masses of students he spotted Remus. He wasn't really surprised at this as he'd been attracted to Remus like a magnet since their very first day at Hogwarts.
Remus stood snuffling into a handkerchief, looking a little lonely and looking quite off-color. Sirius saw Remus' lip twitch slightly and knew a sneeze was brewing perhaps even before Remus knew it himself. But he already had the handkerchief up and nearby. He buried his nose deep in its folds as he snapped forward. "ihhhh-YIHShhhh! Hehh… hehh-IHHChahhh! HihhShuhh!"
"He's come down with another bloody cold," Sirius whispered to himself with a considerable amount of sympathy for his friend. He had been hopeful that maybe it was just a case of the sniffles and fatigue from the fact that the full moon was so near. Sirius knew it was near, and could practically sense it was near. Just as he could sense the discomfort Remus was in just now. It was clearly a head cold, though.
Sirius wanted to rush right over, take Remus in his arms, and sweep him off to bed. After brewing some tea, Sirius would curl up with Remus under the layers of covers and read him to sleep, taking care that there was a liberal supply of fresh handkerchiefs as Remus' colds always tended to require so many.
"hihhh-YIHChhhh-KISHHH!" The strong double-sneeze was almost too much for Sirius to bear. Remus had never been one for public displays of affection, but Sirius wanted so badly to go to him and hold him right then and there until the sneezes passed. It felt horrible to know that could not happen. Damn Remus for being so irresistible and needing him.
"ihhhh-yih-HIHShhhh!" Remus sneezed again, and blew his nose. The crowd had thinned by now and finally Remus left his spot to head towards the Great Hall. Sirius left his own spot and followed Remus with his gaze. He saw the doors to the Hall swing open for a moment, revealing the brilliant decorations from colorful streamers to levitating, lit pumpkins and candles. He saw the sea of students with their bright faces and oblivious smiles, just as he'd seen in Hogsmede earlier that day. He watched as Remus in his patched robes disappeared out of sight, heading for a seat.
Sirius sighed deeply. More than almost anything, he wanted to go to Remus and help Remus feel better. But he could not. There was something he needed to do that he felt was even more important. Sirius ran a hand through his long, tangled hair. With a deep breath he turned on his heals and walked away towards Gryffindor Tower, desperate to get to the third years' dormitory room. Distracted by the sight of Remus, however, Sirius forgot the fact that he didn't know the password.
:-) Happy Halloween!
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 08:33 pm (UTC)Thanks. I just adore poor, pathetic, sniffly Remus.
And really short. I thought it ended kinda abruptly. Or maybe I just wanted more...
Yes, it was terribly short. I wanted the abrupt ending to mirror how short the run-in was before they went their separate ways. But there wasn't any more I could write to it. The ending/rest is, after all, known and part of canon. :-)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 07:42 pm (UTC)Vignette xxx
no subject
Date: 2005-10-31 08:42 pm (UTC)Awh... Poor Remus! I guess poor Sirius too, as there really are some things a guy just can't control.
Exactly. Especially at that point. Poor puppies! *snuggles*
I loved the way you wrote it from two different points of view, especially the images that were repeated in both sections; those tied it together really well. Also, that both Remus and Sirius were going through the same thought processes (both hoping that Remus was just a bit off colour) made them seem very together, even the the stories and the characters were separate.
I'm very glad you got that. I was hoping that Remus' part might sound like he was miserable and really wanted Sirius' care (even though Sirius is of course not mentioned in that part). And I hoped that "encounter" would fit together properly even though there's no actual interaction between the two of them.
And, of course, the last sentence was so cute and funny.
Hmmmm. Cute perhaps... okay, I can see funny. I think it's kind of sad, personally, but then maybe that's my feeling so sorry for Sirius-ness shining through. I just wish he could have gone to Remus as he wanted... and I wish Remus knew Sirius was there and that he cared... Yeah, it's sad to me. But I can see how it could read as cute & funny as well. With Sirius so side-tracked from his task. I definitely like this explanation of why he tried to get into the Tower without a password... :-)
It definitely made my Halloween happier!
I'm so glad. Everyone deserves a happy Halloween :-) I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for dropping me fb!
no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 09:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 10:34 pm (UTC)I don't know if this means anything, but especially in the first part, it seemed like it could be happening when they were younger and when they were older.
Yep. It definitely means something. I was trying to make the time period ambiguous at first, but I attempted to drop enough hints so that the reader would understand by the end that it was taking place during the Halloween in Prisoner of Azkaban (when they're older). Apparently I didn't drop enough hints for everyone, but thank you SO much for picking up on the time-change-type possibilities. That's exactly what I wanted readers to see there :-)
Thanks! And I'm really glad you enjoyed the story!
no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 03:52 pm (UTC)You completely did NOT fail at this. Sirius, wanting to be able to be caught up in the moment, wanting to be able to go to Remus, but knowing that he couldn't.
'Public displays of affection.' LoL! I'm guessing he'd be even less likely to accept that from an escapedmurderer!Sirius than he would have when they were young.
FANTASTIC job.
I loved it. Absolutely loved it.
-c
no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 10:31 pm (UTC)Just when I was completely doubting my ability to write anything deeper than fluff, you GET this! Thank you for getting it. This made me feel SO much better about myself :-) Oh, and the fact that you loved it certainly doesn't hurt, either. But the fact that you loved it AND understood it... *happy sigh*
Ohhhh, very nice! That night, in the third book, when Sirius slashed the Fat Lady, right?
Exactly. EXACTLY! *sigh* I know I just rambled about that above but thank you again :-) Did you suspect it was that particular Halloween from the beginning, or did it take a little ways to sink in? Just wondering how transparent it was for you. I tried to leave little clues but didn't want it to be obvious until Sirius' part. Though apparently it wasn't as obvious as I thought in the end anyway. LOL But did you know from the start or did it seem like it could have been in either time frame for a while?
You completely did NOT fail at this. Sirius, wanting to be able to be caught up in the moment, wanting to be able to go to Remus, but knowing that he couldn't.
I don't think my words did justice to have Sirius must feel, watching Remus, being unable to go to him, and knowing the truth but having his friend think him a murderer... poor Sirius. But I'm so glad a little of that feeling of caring and being torn got through to you.
'Public displays of affection.' LoL! I'm guessing he'd be even less likely to accept that from an escapedmurderer!Sirius than he would have when they were young.
Hmmm. You think? LOL I took that line out several times, but I wanted something to help explain (apart from the unsaid obvious) why Sirius might not be going to Remus. Not quite a red herring... more like a tiny red guppy :-) But it seemed a strange thing to say so I considered cutting it out several times. I'm glad it was good for a laugh, though. Poor Remus definitely didn't need to contend with escapedmurderer!Sirius that night. But I hoped that maybe the story could be read as him almost sensing Sirius was nearby and hesitating in the hallway for that reason, even if it didn't register for him. And poor Sirius seeing him and not being able to go to him and help... my favorite thing about my Marauders is how caring and close they are- so for him to be unable to help Moony when Moony CLEARLY wants someone to help him... *sigh*
And I digress. My point is, THANK YOU! I feel sooooooooo much better about this piece now. I mean, I wanted it to be a bit of a mystery, obviously, but I really had hoped by the end it was obvious. I felt quite miserable when it seemed I'd spent so long crafting it to have it fall on its face. LOL So thank you, once again, for getting it and letting me know. I have hopes that many others got it as well now :-)
no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 07:17 am (UTC)Okay, switching into partial beta mode.
I wasn't certain exactly what timeframe this was happening in until the last line (which was fantastic btw). Being Halloween themed, the thought that Sirius might've been a ghost crossed my mind (not through any fault of yours - I tend to forget/ignore canon when I get an idea in my head). That and young!Sirius were my only two thoughts until you mentioned Sirius' long hair. It definitely could have passed for the Marauder's Hogwarts days.
About 'Public displays of affection' - I did get that you wanted the ambiguity, and I think that that's a fantastic thing to have right there. But maybe something like 'public displays of emotion' could work a bit better? Or just 'public displays'? I also think that, having been in Azkaban so recently and for so long, Sirius might have been compelled by not only Moony's reaction, but also by the thought of exposing himself and potentially ruining his chances to get Peter, if Remus didn't believe him. He definitely had a few reasons not to go to Remus...I could see him sort of smiling bitterly/sadly/regretfully/ironically at how Remus didn't enjoy public displays of emotion and how different the displays would be, the affectionate ones to the one they could have moments later. If that makes sense. :-)
To be honest, I didn't really see Remus feeling drawn to Sirius, sensing Sirius. I tried to go back and look for it, but I only saw a sick, sniffly, sneezy man looking for a moment of quiet - but that worked for me. I didn't need the extra connection between them. And that was just me. Others might pick up on subtleties I missed. :-)
It was a fantastic moment. I had NEVER even considered that Sirius watched Remus (or anyone) in the castle before he tried to get into the tower. SO good. The only thing I'd suggest, if you can find a way to do it subtley (which could be difficult) is emphasize a bit more Sirius' desire to go, find Wormtail, and take his revenge, conflicting with his need to stay and be near Remus. Because, as much as Sirius may love Remus and want to be with him after so long apart, he didn't escape to do that - he escaped to kill Wormtail - and I just don't know if he could put that out of his mind as completely as he seemed to. But, over all, nicely done!
You do deep very well. :-) I'm sorry I didn't look at this yesterday! I could have saved you a bit of feeling miserable. (Though, in a completely selfish, I'mahorribleperson way, I'm glad you felt compelled to write Obi. :-) I'll be commenting on that soon!)
As much as I LOVE my Obi (and you KNOW how much that is) I think that the depth of this is, relatively, more satisfying. I liked it muchly. :-)
-c
no subject
Date: 2005-11-02 02:15 am (UTC)This was very sweet. I confess it did take me awhile to place it(hanging my head in shame.....). I really did enjoy it, you know how much I adore sneezy Remus and I loved Sirius, longing to go to Remus but needing to complete his task.
Very nice reading.
Thanks,
Tina