SW Drabble
Oct. 31st, 2005 11:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarotgalOkay... so as no one seems to have really understood my last posted ficlet (or if someone did, he/she isn't saying so) I figure I'd try something else. Something a little less mysterious but equally strange. Don't know if this works for anyone but me, but I found it an amusing concept to write a drabble about :-)
Title: Understatements
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon
Disclaimer: George Lucas created the characters. I'm just playing for fun.
Summary: Obi, Qui, a head cold, and plenty of understatements
Notes: 500 words exactly
Feedback: I'd love to know if this actually worked :-)
Understatements
Qui-Gon stood in the doorway, not wanting to disturb his padawan learner just then. Obi-Wan had a handkerchief in hand and was holding it up in front of his face, albeit a few inches away. His eyes were closed but his mouth hung open so wide that his tongue was practically falling out. His nostrils were twitching and his chest heaving, and Knowing that Obi-Wan had been having trouble drawing out his sneezes each time, Qui-Gon did not dare interrupt. He watched as Obi-Wan took a few sharp gulps of air, then pitched forward with a sneeze. "heyyyashhuhhhhhh!" The blow he gave his nose a moment later was moist and messy but lasted only a few moments.
But then Obi-Wan lifted his head, blinked, and smiled to see his master. Duties had required Qui-Gon's presence earlier, but he had hurried to their quarters immediately following them.
Qui-Gon smiled back at him and took a seat on the bed beside where Obi-Wan sat up against the headboard and pillows. "I brought you some tea because it looked like you could use some."
"I certaidly could!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, reaching out from the blankets wrapped around him to take the mug of tea in both hands. He shivered as he met its warmth first through touch then taste.
"You look cold," Qui-Gon said, pulling off his cloak and draping it over Obi-Wan's front, then pulling the blankets around the young man's shoulders to meet at his chest.
Obi-Wan nodded, clenching his teeth to keep them from chattering as he drank. And when Qui-Gon put an arm around him, Obi-Wan rested his head on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "I'b glad you're back," said Obi-Wan with a sigh.
He took another sip of the tea then abruptly handed it back to his master as he picked up his hanky and held it up again. "hahh… hahhhh…" Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulders for reassurance, letting him know he did not mind being patient. "hahh-ahhh-AiiiYIHShhuhhhh!" But the moment the sneeze was out, Obi-Wan's mouth pulled down into a frown again. "ehhh-IHHChhuhhhh!" He sneezed, bending forward at the waist at the force of it. He sniffed liquidly and blew his nose more than once as he sat up and leaned again into his master. Then he took back his tea with another sigh. "I feel awful," he confessed, toning it down again so as not to worry Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon nodded in understanding and petted Obi-Wan's cheek and forehead as the young man drank his tea. "You're ill and running a bit of a fever," he said, toning it down again so as not to worry Obi-Wan.
He pressed his cool palm against Obi-Wan's forehead and even though the padawan shivered, he seemed glad for it. Obi-Wan smiled and closed his eyes. "Your touch bakes be feel good."
"Good," Qui-Gon whispered, pressing a kiss into Obi-Wan's temple. "Because I have no intention of letting you go until you're well again." He spoke the first completely accurate words between them since his return.
:-) Tomorrow I'm going to hit Walmart for EpIII and left-over candy *hopes*
Title: Understatements
Author: tarotgal
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon
Disclaimer: George Lucas created the characters. I'm just playing for fun.
Summary: Obi, Qui, a head cold, and plenty of understatements
Notes: 500 words exactly
Feedback: I'd love to know if this actually worked :-)
Understatements
Qui-Gon stood in the doorway, not wanting to disturb his padawan learner just then. Obi-Wan had a handkerchief in hand and was holding it up in front of his face, albeit a few inches away. His eyes were closed but his mouth hung open so wide that his tongue was practically falling out. His nostrils were twitching and his chest heaving, and Knowing that Obi-Wan had been having trouble drawing out his sneezes each time, Qui-Gon did not dare interrupt. He watched as Obi-Wan took a few sharp gulps of air, then pitched forward with a sneeze. "heyyyashhuhhhhhh!" The blow he gave his nose a moment later was moist and messy but lasted only a few moments.
But then Obi-Wan lifted his head, blinked, and smiled to see his master. Duties had required Qui-Gon's presence earlier, but he had hurried to their quarters immediately following them.
Qui-Gon smiled back at him and took a seat on the bed beside where Obi-Wan sat up against the headboard and pillows. "I brought you some tea because it looked like you could use some."
"I certaidly could!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, reaching out from the blankets wrapped around him to take the mug of tea in both hands. He shivered as he met its warmth first through touch then taste.
"You look cold," Qui-Gon said, pulling off his cloak and draping it over Obi-Wan's front, then pulling the blankets around the young man's shoulders to meet at his chest.
Obi-Wan nodded, clenching his teeth to keep them from chattering as he drank. And when Qui-Gon put an arm around him, Obi-Wan rested his head on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "I'b glad you're back," said Obi-Wan with a sigh.
He took another sip of the tea then abruptly handed it back to his master as he picked up his hanky and held it up again. "hahh… hahhhh…" Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulders for reassurance, letting him know he did not mind being patient. "hahh-ahhh-AiiiYIHShhuhhhh!" But the moment the sneeze was out, Obi-Wan's mouth pulled down into a frown again. "ehhh-IHHChhuhhhh!" He sneezed, bending forward at the waist at the force of it. He sniffed liquidly and blew his nose more than once as he sat up and leaned again into his master. Then he took back his tea with another sigh. "I feel awful," he confessed, toning it down again so as not to worry Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon nodded in understanding and petted Obi-Wan's cheek and forehead as the young man drank his tea. "You're ill and running a bit of a fever," he said, toning it down again so as not to worry Obi-Wan.
He pressed his cool palm against Obi-Wan's forehead and even though the padawan shivered, he seemed glad for it. Obi-Wan smiled and closed his eyes. "Your touch bakes be feel good."
"Good," Qui-Gon whispered, pressing a kiss into Obi-Wan's temple. "Because I have no intention of letting you go until you're well again." He spoke the first completely accurate words between them since his return.
:-) Tomorrow I'm going to hit Walmart for EpIII and left-over candy *hopes*
no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 05:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 07:34 am (UTC)heehee Thanks. I can't resist snuggly Jedi images when they pop into my head :-)
The boys are cute as ever, and Obi is one fantastic sneezer! *G*
I must admit those were my favorite part to write *blush* That 'just about to sneeze' image is soooooo nummy to me. And Obi? Guh. I'm glad you enjoyed them as well!
I really enjoyed Qui's displays of patience, and the mutual sensitivity for each other's feelings. Happy Halloween and thanks!
You're welcome- thanks for reading it! Poor Qui. His padawan is always getting sick :-) He's definitely learned all about patience. I'm very pleased you liked the dynamics.
Just thought I'd add that I'm amazed at the different types of themes you manage to weave into your fics. I love that this one can be read on two completely different levels, with different feelings evoked by each.
So you think it works? I had the hardest time writing EVERY single line of dialogue such that it both sounded meaningful AND was an incredible understatement. I must have re-written some of the lines 5 or 6 times before I let it go. I'd really hoped it would be self-evident at least by the end that every line was an understatement. (Cold, Qui? The guy's shivering as he drinks hot tea! And you gotta appreciate how bad Obi must feel if 'awful' is an understatement!)
But it really makes me feel great to know you saw/understood that second level there. After I apparently failed so miserably with my Remus fic earlier, I was worried about posting something else that required a little more thought than just a happy, perky surface reading. So it makes me feel a lot better about my writing in general that you got it. And definitely that you enjoyed it as well. Thank you!!
no subject
Date: 2005-11-01 10:08 am (UTC)But like I said, my brain is fried.
And, I started a fic for you when you had your bad day, and just finished it. But technically, it counts as a halloween present since I haven't gone to bed yet.
Brigid
no subject
Date: 2005-11-04 06:49 am (UTC)But Anyway. :-)
I really enjoyed this. You know I have a thing for your feverish!Obi. ::grin:: And the layering was nicely done. Poor Obi! Neither of them wanting to worry the other...sigh. I love the way you write the boys.
"I feel awful." ::melt:: Gah! ::snuggles Obi:: Perfectly placed. I am a happy girl.
Thanks so much for sharing!
-c