Weekend=sleepytime!

[tarotgal]

Hi all.

I survived. Thanks for putting up with my freakout post. What was supposed to take me 1-2 hours to drink took me 5 and even then I dumped a little down the drain because I just couldn't handle it. I woke up at quarter to 4 to try with the next batch and that went a lot better; I managed to get all of that down in 3 hours. I discovered that if I tried to watch something (movie, tv, even YouTube videos that make me happy) I couldn't keep up with the speed of the visuals and got overwhelmed. Music didn't work either; too much external stimulation. But if I read, I could go at as slow a pace as I needed. So I ventured into some new-to-me Clint/Coulson fanfic that was AMAZING and totally saved my ass/kept me sane. And when I ran out of stories in that series, I started reading some old-to-me NCIS fanfic. Funny that they didn't mention reading slash fanfiction in the two-page directions for taking that stupid medication. LOL But it totally saved me.

I managed a total of about 2 hours of sleep, in 20 minute bursts on Thursday night. Friday morning, I turned on the TV to get me through the last couple hours of waiting and Sam & Dean were meeting Ellen and Jo for the first time. Awwwww. So that was happy-making. After that, it was a breeze (it doesn't hurt that the hospital I went to is actually full of the nicest people in the entire world; I don't understand how they managed to get that many nice people all in one place, but they did and I'm grateful).

I got home and slept for the rest of the day, waking up occasionally because my tummy was seriously unhappy. Saturday I called in sick at the library and then putzed around Pinterest for several hours... so I could have gone to the library after all (though, honestly, hauling around books and pushing carts and bending over were all things I didn't think I could handle, so it's just as well). Then I crashed hard and woke up a few hours later. I did a little bit of work cleaning my craft room (the sort that involved sitting and going through things in boxes). Then I STUPIDLY decided to watch The Woman in Black, which I've had out from Netflix for months now. At 9pm at night. Alone in a house. At night. Alone. Violating ALL MY PERSONAL RULES for horror/scary movies. The saving grace was that the ghost had a specific demographic she targeted and I did not fall into it. Also, one of the main characters helping to stop the ghost was named Sam, so that was nice. Still, it was dumb of me. Kept seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye and freaking out a little.

Today, I pretty much slept all day, did some laundry, took three loads of recycling to the curb (I went through a LOT of bottles of Gatorade LOL). I still feel kind of weak and out of it, not wanting to do anything or focus on anything. There's a LOT I need to do (my dang Christmas tree is still up). But I just don't have the energy and my stomach's been hurting pretty constantly, along with another 3 things majorly wrong with my body. But I'm going to call a dermatologist on Monday and get a referral from my GI to a plastic surgeon, and I'm hoping that will take care of two of the things. My GI's pretty sure I have an abdominal neuroma, so that accounts for the portion of my stomach that hurts like hell when I touch it. But the rest, we're still waiting on test results for. And there's another set of tests I need to do as well.

Anyway, I'm holding steady. Just tired. And I seriously haven't felt like doing anything except for curling up in my nest of blankets and hibernating like a Hufflepuffian badger until this all goes away. Except I know that won't make it go away. So up I get. Also mortgage. And bills. Hi ho, hi ho...

Comments

[melydia.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear the colonoscopy went okay. Can they remove the abdominal neuroma?

And what's the other stuff? Dermatologist? Plastic surgeon? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but now I'm all concerned.

[tarotgal]

A second CT scan and plastic surgeon are probably in order to confirm the diagnosis & then remove the neuroma from my stomach.

The dermatologist, because I have a freckle/mole on my side, near the second place where my stomach hurts, coincidentally, that has been itching a lot. So, possibly skin cancer. Yayness. I can't imagine that even if I have skin cancer there, that's what's been making my stomach hurt... unless it's really advanced, but that seems highly unlikely. Or it could be something else. Hense the need to see a dermatologist.

EDIT: Of course, neither of these things explains the other stomach trouble I've been having. I'm just freakin' broken. And I'm not even going near the issue going on I should see a gynecologist about, because I simply cannot handle that right now and it's similar to the scare I had during convention planning, which ended up going away on its own anyway. So I'm just going to ignore that unless it gets worse. I only have so much energy to devote to worrying at this point in time. LOL!

[melydia.livejournal.com]

My friend who had colon cancer had skin cancer in the same year. We told her that cancer is not like Pokemon: you do not need to catch them all. Luckily, a melanoma like that is usually fixable without too much trouble. And itchiness isn't necessarily a sign of melanoma - my moles get super itchy from time to time but doctors have told me they're nothing to be concerned about.

I didn't know plastic surgeons were involved in removing internal stuff. Interesting. Hope it all goes well for you regardless. This saltines diet has got to be getting old.

[tarotgal]

In the same year? Oh, poor thing!

And that's good to know about the itchiness... though I still would feel better getting it checked out, to be sure.

If I have to be on a Saltines diet for the rest of my life, I am fine with it, honestly. What I'm not fine with is lack of nutrition. Injuries I get are not healing quickly (which is not good for someone as accident prone as I am), for example. I have tried three different kinds of vitamins and all of them have had bad/different side effects that have not been worth continuing with.

[smokeycat-430.livejournal.com]

I hope that all the sleep is helping you and you start to feel better after all you're going through. Are you using your super soft red plaid blanket?

Totally for different reasons but I know how you feel about not having any energy and not being able to focus on anything. I haven't really been watching TV or movies lately because I find my eyes can't focus on them. At work there are a lot of skylights and those coupled with the synthetic light have been screwing with my eyes. Doesn't help that I go to work when it's dark outside, spend all day inside, then go home when it's almost dark.

Just out of curiosity, since you've been reading fic lately, do you have any good recommendations of anything you've come across?

[tarotgal]

Yes! My faaaaavorite red plaid blanket! You remembered :-) Also, I bought a new green plaid sherpa blanket. The white fluffy part is not quite as soft, but it's very soft and it's thicker as well and I like the plaid colors slightly more: http://365project.org/katekintail/365/2014-01-11

Oh man, I'm so sorry the light is killing your eyes. My left eye's been twitching for about a month, on and off, and I finally bought myself a nice eyepatch to wear at home. That rests it more than me just closing my eyes. I don't know if you've tried eyepatches or eyemasks, but they might be a small help?

The Clint/Coulson that got me through the worst of it were the two stories in this series: http://archiveofourown.org/series/52999
The first is a holiday fic where Coulson brings Clint home to meet his family, who are all overachievers and don't know about Coulson's work with SHIELD so think he's pathetic and Clint has to keep their cover and hates it and Coulson's childhood bedroom is EPIC.

The second story has Coulson de-aged and Clint taking him home to a family Clint isn't so fond of while still keeping an eye on him. I usually don't like de-aged character stories but I LOVED this one. Coulson is 11, so none of that cutesey talk or anything like that. Plus he fanboys Cap, which is just adorable.

I definitely recommend both of them! And the author is working on a third story in the series. Yay!

[tarotgal]

I just read this one: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/17613.html?thread=41539789#t41539789

It is short but brilliant (Avengers, Gen)

[smokeycat-430.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Thanks for all the recs. I think I started reading the first one with Phil's family but then lost it before finishing it. The other two I had not read and enjoyed as well. Poor Clint. We only whump him because we love him. Thanks!