Insomnia...

[tarotgal]

Can't fall asleep... I have to be awake in 2 hours... and I have to be alert enough to drive 5 hours this afternoon and get there before it gets dark... I'm really worried now... which is probably why I can't fall asleep... GAH!

Insomnia... it's interesting. Can't do anything useful, can't sleep. LOL I'm complaining, I know, I'm terrible. But if I can't fall asleep in five minutes, I won't fall asleep at all. I usually drift off to sleep virtually instantaneously. So when I can't, I get annoyed... it's because I'm worried about tomorrow. But I made some happy CD mixes... so it shouldn't be too bad in the car. ANd cat will keep me awake meowing, poor guy.

But I'm worried I'll be too tired to drive... or something... grrrr... wish I could just fall asleep already! LOL

I just popped over to the Sneeze Fetish Forum to see what was up. I remember (back when it was mine so many years ago) visiting 10 times a day to see what was up. Now I can't make it once in several weeks without feeling sick. I really don't like it any more. First off, the paying/donations thing is NOT my thing. And this recent rewards thing for people who send in money is even further from my thing. But some of the posts just want to make me bang my head against the wall, honestly. And I don't like the new version at all. And now they have this private Adult or Under 18 board thing where you *have* to declare your age in your profile to be approved and all. No. I'm sorry. That's the last straw for me. I'm highly considering never going there ever again. I'm sure it's great and I know a ton of people like it. It's just not what I like. I almost considered writing a "see ya" post on the comings and going board, but fuck, I think I'll just let myself fade back into the mist. That's what legends are supposed to do, right? *G* That's from Highlander episode Homeland.
But really (and no offense to the admins) but I really don't like the board as it is now. I'm not too keen on the general "community" either. It's just not what I fell in love with all those years ago... and it's not my scene any more. I feel sad to admit it because I used to have SO much fun there, but all the parts I loved about it are gone... and all the bad parts multiplied. *sniffles* It's very sad.

Gonna go try and sleep again.. alarm clock's going to go off in an hour and 35 minutes... damnit...

Comments

[tarotgal]

I don't believe they sell episodes in singals (though the first episode was sold as a single on VHS) You can rent it most places as singles(or as a boxed set) but I wouldn't advise buying season 1 on DVD until you know if you like the series. Season 1 is one of the WORST seasons of the show. It got better starting at season 2, then got REALLY goot at seasons 4 & 5 then season 6 was horrid.
So I wouldn't buy the boxed set on DVD for any more than $60 and CERTAINLY don't buy it unless you know if you like the show or not. I adore it to death and spent $170 on season 1 on VHS but I'm an obsessed nut *G* Try to see if you can rent it :-)

[(Anonymous)]

I can understand about not liking the new forum. From what I've heard about the earlier "community" it is really different.(I came around 2001- there about on Bondi's Beseen forum).

I understand re: beating your head in reading some posts. I do it myself and I'm a mod. :P :P

Btw- I don't take any offense to your comments whatsoever. I think that part of why I'd feel sad without the Yahoo storyboard and this journal is that there is a sense of community. I like the other board. But here and the storyboard there is a different type of community and if I didn't have those opportunities I'd feel sad.

So thanks to all those that make those places special for me.

tma

[tarotgal]

You (and some of the other mods) do an excellent job, I don't mean to knock that. There are just a number of decisions I don't like. And I've posted something like 10 times in the last few months and out of that 4 were edited by mods. That just does *not* sit well with me. Little things like that make it a place I'd rather not be part of. And most of the discussions have been had so many times now that it's just frustrating to me. So I think a retreat from it is best for me. I'm sure it's great- and I really admire those of you who are still able to hang and have fun there. I just don't feel like I fit in any more, which makes me sad.

But I agree- I like having choices. It's nice that there are so many different subsections now... that's nice. Everyone enjoys the fetish in his or her own way, so it's nice that there are so many ways now of doing that. :-)

You're not alone

[(Anonymous)]

I have to admit that I feel strange responding to your entry as I don't usually post anything anywhere, and as a result I am largely unknown. I hope that you don't find my post intrusive.

I found all of the sneezing sites in 1999- making me one of the "newbies" even though it seems like so long ago. In fact, the TOS and Professor S's SFO were the first two that I devoured unrelentingly. I share your disappointment in the general nature of the postings these days. For whatever reason, I seem to feel that the "community" is much less cohesive. I also have to admit that I still read what I can find, and the occasional post, wav. or story that I DO appreciate keeps me coming back.

I make it a point to check your sites in particular as I have great respect and admiration for your efforts over the years. In my opinion, your stories are unmatched for composition, detail, and insight. It must be particularly difficult to be revered as a "legend", even though it is truly a compliment. Although I understand your position, I sincerely hope that you do not in fact "fade into the mist" as I for one have been able to hold on to the positive thoughts about the online sites due to your contributions. Whatever you decide, I didn't want to risk missing the opportunity to say "Thank You".

Debi- A.K.A. "Sneeze2me"

Re: You're not alone

[tarotgal]

Thanks for the reassurance, and for the note about my sites- which I wish I had cause to update more often than I do. I think I will certainly "fade" fully from the mainstream "community". But I'll certainly stay over in my little corner and on my own sites.

In no way was your post intrusive! Just the opposite- thank you much for it! And I do agree... the occasional thing does thrill me still... but I do so long for the older days when everyone knew everyone else and there was much less... I dunno... commercialism. All the selling and trading and push for donations just doesn't make me happy. I long for the old days when everyone freely shared what they could and no rules were needed because everyone trusted everyone else to not trade behind others' backs and things. But you are right, my memoriesof the way it was are no reason to be bitter about some of the really great stuff that is still going on. I just... don't feel a part of it any longer. But I'll stay off to the side and have fun in my own way.

Anyway, thanks MUCH for understanding, and for posting. And take care :-)

[magictoes11.livejournal.com]

I sympathize with you there. I'm not a tremendous fan of most sneezing communities, save for the fanfiction-based ones. I can't say I've even 'come out,' as it were, because I don't think I could cope with how overtly sexual a lot of folks seem to be. Sure, 'fetish' implies sexuality, but there's only so far to take it... I just don't see the 'happy medium' for shy, semi-squeamish folks like myself. And I can't say that, outside of certain few, I'd ever be willing to meet anyone from the community, or spend an extensive amount of time talking about sexual matters, etc.

(On a completely different note... You wrote a Gravitation fanfic? And I missed it? Bad me! I absolutely loved it. I just wanted to snuggle poor sick Shuichi... and then poor sick Yuki. Too cute!)

[tarotgal]

I really go through phases with the fetish... I think I'm in my fanfic phase right now. I went through an "obsessed with wavs" phase and a "it really does nothing for me any more" phase. And while there is MUCH more variety than there used to be... I agree, there aren't any more happy mediums. Liberty Belle's board was as close as I think we've come to that... it was a nice tight community that could talk about sexually explicit things or not. It had a much warmer, comfier dynamic than what the main sneeze fetish forum is like, IMHO. But thank you for throwing your two cents into this matter... I think we all like finding our place in it all... problem is, my interests have changed over the 6 years I've been online in the community.

As for the Gravitation fic- yay! Glad you liked. I just needed a good excuse to make Yuki sneeze, the love. Mmmmm... and it fit in the plot so well, I just couldn't resist!
On the same completely different note, did you ever get my Wolf's Rain/HP crossover story and my comments about *your* Gravtation fic I sent in e-mail?

[magictoes11.livejournal.com]

Squeak! I got your Gravitation comments, but I managed to miss the WR/HP crossover in my inbox. Bad me! I guess it got buried in the mass of stuff coming in from the list. (It piles up when you don't check your email for weeks at a time!)

I did like what you've written though! There were certain parts I wasn't overly fond of, but that was a matter of my own reading preference and not what you'd written. (I don't know how much detail you'd like me to get into via LJ, but I think you might have an idea of the scene I didn't care for... Just not what I like to read.) :) However, in all, it was really sweet. You could just feel Remus' loneliness... And you did write Tsume very well! Overall, I liked it. Oh, and the obligatory sneeze in there was a nice touch as well.

Thanks for sharing it, and sorry for not getting back to you on it sooner!

[tarotgal]

I did like what you've written though! There were certain parts I wasn't overly fond of, but that was a matter of my own reading preference and not what you'd written. (I don't know how much detail you'd like me to get into via LJ, but I think you might have an idea of the scene I didn't care for... Just not what I like to read.) :)
LOL, well, it was graphic wolf sex. I certainly wouldn't bet it's most people's thing. Can't say that it's my ultimate favorite either... :-) But it was an interesting change.
So no worries. As much/little detail as you like... where-ever... whenever :-) I'm SO behind in e-mails I have to write. So I MORE than understand!

However, in all, it was really sweet. You could just feel Remus' loneliness... And you did write Tsume very well! Overall, I liked it. Oh, and the obligatory sneeze in there was a nice touch as well.
LOL They really sneak into most of my nonfetish works anyway. It's just an occupational hazzard of writing hurt/comforts, I think. My characters just seem to run into snow/rain storms much more than normal characters do, no matter what else I have in mind for them.
But I'm glad you liked Tsume... or thought he was okay. I didn't feel like I got enough of his character out in it... but as most of his character development happens in the series after he falls into "pack" mode I couldn't use any of that. Just the lone wolf, using what he could get and all that. I was very worried about how I wrote him, though, having never attempted him before and suddenly throwing him into another fandom, on top of that.