sigh

[tarotgal]

How many fucking examples do I need before I get it into my head that I CAN'T RELY ON ANYONE? To be honest, I'm getting much better at not getting my hopes up any more, but even when slight possibilities of things are dashed I get disappointed and I hate being disappointed. I should just get "trust no one" tattooed on my arm or something. Then at least maybe I'd be less surprised when people let me down again and again and again *sigh*

I think the problem is partially having a stay at home mother (so she was always there if I needed a ride or advice) and having incredibly great real life best friends at times when I was growing up who would be there for me no matter what. Unreasonable expectations.

Maybe I expect too much of people? Maybe it's because I'm anal and I HAVE to plan things out days, weeks, and months in advance? Maybe in the real world "let's do X" actually means "let's say we'll definitely do X but right before we do it, we will probably back out completely with no notice whatsoever"?

Maybe I just need to remind myself to give up on people all together and do whatever I want and need to do to be happy? Then at least I'll be pleasantly surprised if things happen and not disappointed when they don't happen. And I KNOW I've said this to myself before... but apparently it's taking longer to really listen.


So speaking of which... I'm seriously considering going alone to the Faerie World con in October.

Comments

[iff]

I've lost a couple of friendships, and nearly lost others, due to my interpretation of "Let's do X" as "Let's really get together on the day we plan at the time we plan and do X" instead of "Why don't you say you're going to call me to set a time on the date we'd already agreed on and then blow me off completely so I'm left wasting my time doing nothing because I'm waiting for you and you won't answer my attempts to contact you instead." And for me at least, it's great to say that I'll do what I want when I want so I won't be disappointed, but there are times when it'd be really nice to actually have someone else there to do them with.

Whatever happens, I hope things work out for the best for you. *HUGS*

[tarotgal]

Aww, thank you so much for listening to me vent and understanding. Much needed. *hugs back*

And for me at least, it's great to say that I'll do what I want when I want so I won't be disappointed, but there are times when it'd be really nice to actually have someone else there to do them with.
That's very, very true and wise. I do love sharing events/times with people.

But I think my problem is completely missing out on things that I wanted to do because people let me down. I think I need to plan to do things on my own and then if people end up coming along, then that's brilliant and wonderful. And if they don't, at least I won't regret not going because of others.

[ladykorana.livejournal.com]

Ouch. I've never had this happen to me personally, but one of my current friends has another friend that does this to her all the time, and I'm the one that she always ends up venting to about her. So sorry that this keeps happening to you.

And now I'm feeling even more guilty about not getting Farscape: Season 2 in the mail to you. I don't want to think about how many months have gone by since I promised I'd get it to you. I have no excuse whatsoever except for laziness, so I apologize if I've screwed up your show viewing plans. I'll have to slip something extra in there, to make it up to you.

What's Faerie World con? Sounds interesting. I'll have to see if I can find a website for it.

[tarotgal]

It's okay. I'm a passive doormat, so I probably invite people to cancel on me since they know I won't snap and confront them in most cases. (When I do go "red" it's NOT a pretty sight, but it take a while for me to get to that point) Sorry to vent so much here about it.

The Faerie con info is here:
http://www.faeriecon.com/
The Frouds are my FAVORITES and it's SO rare that the con is on this coast. So I think I'll regret it if I don't go. But I need to get the alarm system fixed on my car first, and then probably buy a GPS unit. If I can do both of those before October and financially I can swing it, I'm going to try to go and hope there are hotel/motel rooms free :-)

And please please PLEASE don't feel guilty about Farscape S2!!! I have to get through the entire first season of Blood Ties before it starts S2 in October, and I just finally got caught up on Prison break today, not to mention working my way through several old Fantastic Four series I've been practically addicted to. Then I have about 17 hours of unwatched things recorded on my DVR that I needed to watch last week, and I've been watching so much stuff that I've barely had time to rent any movies so my Blockbuster Online membership has been wasted this month, practically. I haven't had the time to watch Farscape S2, even if you had sent it within the last month or two. So please don't feel badly about it. I'm happy for it whenever you can send it, but don't rush on my account. I definitely have stuff to keep me busy :-)